spill

the world that we live in.

2009-08-07T18:26:00.000+08:00

okay nash. i cant even change font sizes, colour, add pictures or do anything else on this blog.

hence. with all the feeling feeling..hahahahahahha

WELCOME BACKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!

YOU HAVE BEEN MISSEDD!!!!!!!

10th august here we come!

everyday.

2009-08-05T02:06:00.002+08:00

this time next week i will probably have finished the first day at school and blog about it. so weird huh. these 3 months have been the longest/shortest/weirdest/insanest(is there such a word) in my short 20 years.

school is starting again! whoa. the reality of that hasnt yet hit me in the face. it probably will on sunday/monday where i can no longer wake up at 12pm and spend the day watching 7 episodes of my korean drama, eating, sleeping and not having so much to think about. i think i need to start studying again though HAHAHA all im filled up with is endless plot lines from several serials which i will proceed to narrate with you once asked.

just now whilst watching a new k drama that i just started something freaky happened. i was watching the scene and analyzing it and at the same time eyeing the extremely cute actor and then the actress said the line and wham! the line for the actor just appeared in my head. and then it appeared on screen! hahahaha. uh oh. this may be both a good or bad thing depending on how you look at it. my mom would not be too pleased.

all these dramas fill you up with dreams la. but once in awhile its good to do so.

whilst still on a shoestring budget i embarked on some sandal shopping today and got some setepcool ones (dilly they look like yours lets wear em to sch tgt) and managed to get em for 20 bucks. *claps*

i also bought a new pen for sch and have leftover fulscap. why i am narrating all of this like a 6 year old kid i have no idea.

cousin;s wedding on saturday and im a little nervous now already insya Allah everything goes smoothly.

and i thought the whole challenge was finding someone to love. whoa i didnt see the marriage part! hahahahaha. okay welcome to the real world bozo.

okay i should sleep soon. hope evryones good. nights!

hahahahaha.

2009-08-04T19:52:00.000+08:00

okay so im still so bummed about the whole dbsk and bloody annoying shitinyourface sm entertainment thing, but in times of sadness there must always be laughter.

whoa the girl is so frigging hilarious. a true dbsk fan i must say. watch!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Lw1fx_woJo&feature=related

time for change?

2009-08-03T15:36:00.000+08:00

i tell you ah i thikn im gna change my blog this blog cant post pictures la, cant edit fonts la omg. aper la. WHAT AM I STILL DOING HERE.

well lets see. what are the odds of me posting pictures and changing fonts on a regular basis.

well, about 1 percent.

okay maybe i'll stay HAHA.

what we say and who we are.

2009-08-03T15:30:00.000+08:00

yesterday i spent practically the entire day with these 3 like omg super annyoying people. like i kid you not.

yesterday was one of the best days ive had in a long long long while.

rt meetup was good too man. we havent changed much, though a whole year has passed.

i wonder how much ive changed?

dbsk dbsk dbsk is on my mind right now. HOW HOW HOW. if they disband how will i live out my korean wedding?

i have a new school bag, a new hippie top, i need new sneaks and sandals and i think im set for school. my wardrobe remains pretty much the same but hey who cares! hahahahahahah.

*does the hey! dont bring me down korean badass dance*

bye!

why?

2009-07-31T02:20:00.002+08:00

"why don't people's hearts tell them to continue to follow their dreams?" the boy asked the alchemist.

"because that's what makes a heart suffer most, and hearts don't like to suffer".

what am i chasing after here? 0nce in a while i think im feeling this suffering, omg yeah during a's i sure felt it, but anyhow im slowly thinking this is a very wise book. thanks again hak.

dilly is back, now we're waiting for nash and circle of life can resume woohoo!

today i was on the mrt and i saw this guy reading a book and for no reason i found it so completely attractive. (at about the same time i fished out the alchemist and started reading whilst at the same time blasting korean music it was so enjoyable doing two things i love at the same time). music and books. after god family and friends, those two make my life COMPLETE!

okay wait this is before a korean love comes in.

haha! stupid dreamer.

nights.

---

so i was president of drama club, i was a prefect, i was an ogl, i was a relief teacher, how come none of these seem to be coming into play at the shoe shop?

yesterday all i was was a bull in a china shop. haha. sad but true but i was so emo! i feel the period coming on.

where?

2009-07-24T03:17:00.001+08:00

oh dear i think ive been blinded by ideals.

hilarious!

2009-07-23T00:59:00.003+08:00

okay so i just watched atack of the pin up boys, primarily because super junior was starring in it. but in all honesty the one hour movie was actually pretty enjoyable and funnY! though the humour was the kindastubtle missitifyourenotsharp type. i loved how it poked fun at the idea of fame, stardom and the obesession with wanting/needing attention, but also the fact that half or practically all the people that wanna be popular have no frigging idea whats in it for them when they actually get it.

which got me thinking about something else of course, but i think ive decided that at the end of the day its really got nothing to do with me, so yeah no loss!

in other news i am so totaally appreciating my ipod. okay fine this is the part where i admit im a suaku who has truly very ittle sense of technological gadgets. but yeah im sooooooooo loving it. my lovely korean videos seem to look even better on it, HAHAHA. okay lame.

so this is a little late but i might as well just update huh.

so i went to work a the shoe shop yesterday where i made *drumroll please*

ZERO sales. and hence boss decided i didnt need to come in today either. HAHAHA, omg i tried, really! but yeah. i was so bored and i didnt even have my ipod so all i had was he korean edition of teenage and by the end of the day i think i could recite u aloud through memory alone the contents of the mag.

i dont whther its me being 20 or the mag itself but i wont ever touch another issue. enough said.

they did have a nice part on cheap buys though, so credit there la. HAHAA.

met auds today at parkway, good chat! her shop looks like a bedroom! hahahahaha.

i think at the end of the day, we're who we make ourselves to be. our strenghs and weaknesses, i think really when it comes down to it, we decide the kind of person we wanna be.

wish i coulve seen the solar eclipse today.

h1n1 is gettng pretty scary hurh.

okay ciao.

Hehehe

2009-07-21T21:47:00.000+08:00

Guess where I'm blogging from. Hehehe.

Thank You!

Hehehe :)

short!

2009-07-17T13:56:00.002+08:00

just after lunch break/ had a bit of macs and read.

current new bank acct remainder: 2 bucks plus. just bought sugar ray's a;bum for 7.95 at sembawang music. worth it much!my oh my.

4 more hours and tmr at the shoeshop.

back to work i go!

is this slow motion or what!

2009-07-15T23:12:00.002+08:00

time is passing by sooo slowly.

i dont know when i watch lame korean dramas i am extremely atracted to the standoffish arrogant types.

but in real life, i feel like slapping guys that i meet that are like that.

dimensional problem much?

maybe its ecause the korean ones are so hot? but actually no leh theyre not.

omg time is passing by slowly. so slowly that i have gone into repetition mode.

but it okay i guess.

3 more days of work then i get a break, go maryam go, take it as it comes!

and sometimes omg working pple are so grumpy, now i kinda get why theyre like that. HAHA. i do actuallyvalue studying and school now.

had more to say but im gna be chased out of my room soon.

i miss writing, and i know i shouldnt but i miss the stage too! i should go watch a play!

later.

to dad.

2009-07-12T13:54:00.003+08:00

happy birthday! love you.

beat it!

2009-07-07T23:48:00.002+08:00

have popped two panadols but still have a slight headache.

watching michael jackson's final farewell on cnn a bit here and there, dont know about you guys, but i still feel sad that michael jackson has gone. not just his music, haha i remember jc days where me, miss nansi, anjana, farah, mifa and lubs would cruise in miss n's car and dance and sing to all our favourite michael jackson songs. dirty diana, beat it, billie jean. and on the day of syf we were so nervous, we just blasted it the whole ride there, and i felt so so so much better.

for touching our lives in that small, but permanent way, and for omg great great great timeless music, thanks michael jackson! rip.

billie jean.

2009-07-06T21:34:00.002+08:00

HELLO!

okay so yesterday me and grace decide to do our meetup before she goes away for foc and we watch threads of destiny which is like omg such a sad heartbreaking/heartuneasy (all the heart words you can think of) kinda movie.

and it was even like freaky ah cos even during the sweet couple parts where nth has gone wrong yet and where normanlly in a movie you go awww and how sweet and bet they'll end up tgt, yeah even DURING those parts they played like a freaky scary tune/backgriund music thingy that gave me and grace such a horrible sense of foreboding that we couldnt even be happy for them during the sweet parts. OMG.

i loved this movie!

okay but i think any other person would get irritated. as it turns out grace found out this movie was actually based on a jap series, so we check out the series and guess what

*drum roll please*

its exactly the same aka cut and paste aka HOW CAN YOU DO THAT???? aka i just blew ten bucks aka this is what crazy people do.

but still still, if you think about it in a different way (or rather if you are in denial), its more like you invested ten bucks to learn about a new series because now you can watch all the episodes free online. okay bad point but point is i love it!

oh yeah so the name of the movie is threads of destiny and so the whole time on the way back me and grace were like do you think you'll find your thread of destiny on the bus? i think my thread of destiny got cut. wheres the person holding my trhead of destiny! and the likes.

so yes i recommend the movie to patient (cos the movie has no climax, its just like you know, a thread of destiny thing), hopeless romantic and people who are similar in character to me. you get my drift homies.

DONT WATCH IT unless youre me/adillia/grace/korean/jap/jig/trix/crazy koreanjap fan. HAHAHAHAHAHAH okay.but really its a lovely movie!

was about to say bye but lets see what else i can say! WELL. i started work at a shoe shop on saturday which was a WHOLE OTHER STORY because i had a memory of a goldfish for the first few hours and i think i irritated the shoe lady hahahaah but im getting better!

err. what else. im working still this week and the next! hope everything goes smoothly!

and i hope everyones good, gna do my korean fix and sleep. ciao.

nobody has it easy.

2009-07-01T22:44:00.004+08:00

cos everybody knows
but nobody really knows

today's my third day on the job at nac. it's the first time i've done a desk job. it's different, i hope everything goes smoothly! today while doing some archiving i totally lost track of numbers in the middle and had to restart from like number 50 to 100 plus. but i managed to FINALLY finish it!

wow who knew. learn things AND watch 13 guys you like immensely? whoever said korean stuff were no-brainers. hehehehe. this is my favourite part of the episode of suju's exploration of the human body!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SBsySAktcn4&NR=1
this is the episode on flexibility omg you have to watch it. korean fan or not. its just so funny!

errr okay i'll just give the link instead. hahah my blog reverted to like the classic classic (wait classic is a nice way of saying ulu/backwards/old fashioned) version. so many features are gone! yikes.

anws anws. i finally sent the email to mendaki. have yet to pay my 100 phone bill. only spent two bucks on lunch today. good job maryam hang in there!

these few weeks im really seeing the meaning of patience. WHOA. not easy man. AHAHAHAH.

because funan it mall is 3 mins from my workplace i popped by to check out some technological devices. if you know what i mean. but this was on tuesday. today i didnt even think about it! sometimes you wait and think so much that you forget to wait and think!

okay unusually long post.

oh yeah today i read some really enlightening stuff that made me go OH NOW I SEE IT.

hope everyones good. dont mind the babbling. :]

MAJOR PMS.

2009-07-01T00:18:00.001+08:00

emotions overload in extremities. HELP.

i really, really need some music.

quicktime.

2009-06-26T16:25:00.002+08:00

i managed to not forget about ue registration! (because i have very good friends)
i hope i can get a four day week.
i found two jobs! one on weekdays and the other on saturdays. im lucky i think :]
i will get my giordano pay latest by tueday.
still havent gotten arts fest payyyy.

i need need need music to listen to. how?

without music, life would be a mistake! wise words. i totally agree.

i also managed to solve my core and pe electives problem.

i am thankful.

i must guard myself from falling into the insecurity trap. i know im not perfect, still im me! :]

i hope everyone is good.

i think stretching my lappie screen to extreme ends has had an effect. hahaha.

bye!

okay calm down.

2009-06-24T14:09:00.002+08:00

yes i should. this is my fault. and i spent all that time during the weekend carefilly looking through all the different modules, really thinking properly about what i wanted to do, and what i was interested in doing. for once actually plannign ahead.

but yet i missed the registration timing. god theres something wrong with me okay please.

the only not so freaky thing, well its quite ridiculous actually, is that the day before this dang registrarion for core pes and gerpes, me and grace and dilly went to sing karaoke. and me and grace were all excited about starting school and plannig to be all studious all! omg. and look we both missed the dateline. yikes. hahahahahaha.

i am trying to see the light side of this. but i am actualy disappointed in myself and worried.

okay off to destress.

yikes.

2009-06-24T14:07:00.001+08:00

my prescribed core has zero vacancies. i should be extremely worried. help!

the world seems bigger.

2009-06-23T16:37:00.002+08:00

hello hi. okay so ive been having much self time this past week, which is good cos i think i needed to like just indulge in my antisocial tendencies once in a while.

yesterday me grace and dilly went karaokeing at thioheng at katong shopping mall. which was good! i think i sang more than usual. hmm. probably cos i got all excited after seeing the dbsk video. and needed to release tension. hahaha.

i still havent got my pay. and i miss meeting up with everyone. i hope it comes soon.

dilly is flyingoff tmr :[

hmm i had quite a few things to say! but now i gtg! staying over at aunt's today.

hope everyone;s good.

my phone bill is 100 bucks cos of the arts fest job. pardon me if i dont msg much. then again i dont msg much to begin with. hahahahaha.

alright seeya.

to act like nothings wrong.

2009-06-18T02:41:00.002+08:00

do you ever get that feeling of sometimes wanting to, just for a moment, seize the world? not in a power hungry, attention seeking, money grabbing kinda way. but to just capture and conquer a bit of the world on your own.

sometimes i get the random urge to do that.

i dont know how, or why, but i feel like exploding out some energy and hoping it miraculously turns into something big that will....hmm i dont know how to put this in words.

or i could be completely not be making any sense at all.

today is a one of those days where i feel this urge, but also at the same time am fully conscious of reality.

this is what i have, this are the things i can do, these are the things i cannot achieve simply by willing/wishing/dreaming them to happen.

today simply through the banalities of life i feel like seeing the world, and getting a sense of that larger picture beyond the microscopic way in which i see things now.

maybe staring at the led screen that presents this alternative reality in front of me for hours on end is not healthy! hahahah.

and yet. is stepping back into routine any healthier? maybe indulgence is bliss!

okaybye!

what a difference a day makes!

2009-06-16T02:24:00.002+08:00

hello im older and i think a little wiser and omg now my age actually begins with a 2 in the first digit. scary or what?

i know it sounds so lame and corny and cheesy and omg irritating but but but but but

i really do have the greatest friends. really really! i love all my friends. my homie gang friends. my lovely cs friends. my drama friends. my jc friends. and my icantrememberhowimetyoubutomghowcomeweresuchgoodfriends friends.

friends, after family of course, as you can tell, make up a significant part of my life. :]
:] i had a good, chilled out, korean, family, friends day today.

it feels quite alright being twenty. :] here's to more!

thank You for blessing me!

interesting!

2009-06-12T01:23:00.002+08:00

alo hello.

i just came back from work about an hour an a half ago. omg afternoon shifts mean standing for 8 hours. i hope i have slim and toned legs by the end of this! haha. im working full on saturday are you ready for this!

my aunt's operation is tmr. pray to God all goes well.

cancer really really really starts to scare me, i think as a result of what ive seen amongst my loved ones all these years.

mom was saying yesterday when she was talking to ma fawz on the phone, that she had the same tone of sadeness, perhaps fear, that my other aunt had when she found out that her cancer had come back.

i know this also means that i need to take care of my health too.

OKAY LIGHTEN UP. my aunts never like it when people drag down moods and feel sad so upbeat and cheery i will try my best to be!

today at work at the position of cashier (which is sort of like mini boss) was taken by this real really fierce looking chinese dude with piercings, hair shaved at the side and dyed red in the middle, glaring eye all. when i saw him i tell you i was really scared! hahah like seriously. he looked like the kind who would beat up annoying small noisy irritating act cute twerps like me. beat up with the metal pole all. omg i can so imagine it in my head.

so anws when i arrived my colleague harvin who is ten times more insane than me (if thats possible) was like "eh this guy hasnt even spoken a word to me since we started work" except to ask where the cashier area was.

the cool thing about him though is that he's like real professional when he works with the customers but he mainly just does his own thing when he's not attending to them. he totally reminds me of like the hong kong street gangsters, and i know im stereotyping here, but still, i think he's scary/cool.

so im helping this customer but she wants me to bring the clothes to the cashier and hands me cash to do the transaction cos she's busy/cant be bothered/ has no idea how to purchase clothes, so i walk over to jarod (is this how you spelll it)..

m: hey payment...
j: where's the person?
m: err she's over there...*points*
j: how come she never come here herself?
m: err she passed me the cash and told me to err pay...errr
j: wahlao that fucker...

OMG OMG OMG. hahahahahahaha this may seem funny now but at that time it was scary okay! fierce to the maxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx.

hahaha so other than that i just generally try to keep out of his way cos im scared he'll beat me with a pole, though i have this sneaky feeling he might actually be a nice person beyond the garang gangster persona. lets just say i have no guts to find out. HAHAHAHAH.

other than that me liyana and edwin mostly talk crap and fold clothes a gazillion times and attend to customers. its tiring, but i feel like i really know what its like to be earning that 5 bucks. like every hour that i work, i really appreciate the value of the money im getting, know what i mean?

and ive bumped into nad twice alr,which is funny/nice. hehehehe. we both work at downtown east. YAY.

hows everyone else doing! good i hope! :] ahh i feel bad i couldnt make it for nash's pre-departure meetup, but i only left pasir ris at 11 man :( hope we get to still meet the gang before she and dilly leaves.

seeyou when i seeya!

quickie!

2009-06-09T01:04:00.002+08:00

welcome to giordano!

its only 5 bucks an hour, but its still 5 bucks an hour!

i have the greatest friends. i know this is late but thanks auds trix jig xx and dino for that early birthday meetup. i really really appreciate it yayy :]

i know im loved when my friends also leave me 40 bucks voucher to get a new pair of converse sneaks which i will do soon.
be happy everyone!

okay fine so eevryone;s in love! its okay to not be, really. well thats what i think anyways. i wanna be young and crazy and be WELCOME TO GIORDANO.

hehehehehe. :]

update!

2009-06-05T19:38:00.002+08:00

okay. update on my life. UPDATE ON MY LIFE!

omg. okay so today i went to mica building to liko collect my claims and stuff. and omg omg i was so so so sos so so so sos os so frustrated because of the incredulous behaviour of some distinct individuals within the company which i am too darn lazy to elaborate on. the gist of it is, i think i'll end up paying like 150 bucks on my own. WOW FANTABULOUS seeing as how the aim of me getting a job was cos i was broke.

hahahah okay on the lighter side of things i had my giordano briefing today and the trainer asni is like the most funny thing ever. hahaha he was asking us how to deal with customers if theryre too cute and i cant look at them in the eye/ if they have a glass eye. omg omg really cheered me up. HAHA.

so work starts on monday and the schedule looks a little insane but at least i have NO CLAIMS. hahahahah okay wait do i sound bitter here?

i did learn alot from the festival though and i have made wonderful friends. so okayla plus minus EVEN OUT!

that said this weekend i hope i can see the people i love! friends you have been missed. so many moments i felt like saying a precise comment to like a precise friend. know what i mean? like for some moments certain pple are like darn funny to tell it to. hahahahaa.

so i will meet mifa and the rest tmr earlier in the day and hopefully if all is good rock the sub with auds trix and jig later at night. :]

stupid.

2009-06-03T15:25:00.002+08:00

its days like these where i realise what a truly horrible person i am. work is not an excuse.

:( ugh.

i think i take for granted the nice people around me.

i dont even feel like blogging anyth work related now.

i cant find my thumbdrive!

2009-05-30T15:53:00.003+08:00

omg hi hello im so broke. i have like less than 50 bucks with me altogether. when i mean altogether i really mean altogether. like in all the small nooks and crannies and secret hideouts. HELP.

okay i scored a short part time Giordano job thngy at downtown east for a week, after my next assignment with the arts fest. it pays 5 an hour. but as i think auds may agree with me here, when youre that broke, ,5 an hour here i come.

me and mifa and the drama gang were joking yesterday about how to say "hi welcome to giordano" in that distinct unique tone that only giordano workers use. hahahahaha. i think will be very tired during this job, but at least i will have something to keep me amused. hi welcome to giordano!

i realize all my mood swings the past few days has one root cause. PERIOD. i just got it yesterday, okay so yayy im so lazy to be sad/angsty/lousy-feelingish.

there are too many nice koreanthings to watch to feel down! hahahahahahahaha.

omg hi-5 celebrates its tenth anniversary next week? no way! howmuch have i grown. i used to sooo have a crush on tim with the guitar. HAHAHAHAHAHA.

later homies!

down down.

2009-05-29T02:46:00.002+08:00

today has been an overwhelming day for me. really really overwhelming.
i think i will have to pay a 100 dollar fine because one of the artistes loss the access pass to the national library.

ive never been so touched by strangers as i have been with this wonderful group that i got to work with. i wont go into the details, i dunno sometimes i feel when you describe something, or when you retell a story or a special incidence, it loses a bit of that special meaning that it used to hold. or it could be the fact that i am so tired, but i dont want to sleep.

but still. will post pictures when i get them. let me just say i was so amazed by their show. i have never seen such an out of this world blending of the cinema and the stage, working together like that before. really. i honestly was breath-taken. at the end of teh show i was beaming and i had this huge surge of pride and happiness, all the more so because i was there, seeing them build the set (which took 9837498234 hours) and being a part of that entire process.

i actually had to hold back tears when i sent them off. hmm. not just because i really really liked them, but also because i think i was so so so tired.

like physically and mentally i am so drained. and emotionally too. i think working alone on this first assignment was a good wake up call for me, but i have been forced to stay alert for 5 days in a row. and make sure i remain professional, and not show too much emotions. wah. it was tough man.

so at the end today, i just feel so tired and sad. weird huh. but happy. and thankful. its been a crazy, good, happy funny 5 days. one day i will go visit chile, i really really really hope i do. from the ten people ive met, the country must be amazing.

and so. i have many things to do. but for once i want to just not think so much and do them later.

goodnight!

a day. of firsts?

2009-05-24T02:05:00.003+08:00

hey. omg wow today was. so many different things happened in one single day. like seriously so many things. my heart went up and down and up and down and up. PHEW. thank God i made it through.

okay so i had to pick up the artistes but i had no idea what they looked like so i randomly smiled when i saw groups of european/south american people who i gauged to be actors, which on hindsight is a really weird thing to do because a director and an actor and anyone can look like anyone. hahah safe to say i smiled at err a bit too many people? hahahaha.

but they seem like a nice bunch. aside from the fact that only one or two max three speak english, i find myself gesturing a little here and there more and more.

then there was the heartbreaking old malay lady who walked alone to where i was seating (she stays at woodlands) waiting for her son to arrive at the airport earlier. this was 4pm. she calls her son and he's already arrived. broke my heart. really.

it sscary to be a parent. in a way i never ever imagined.

then there were the two random ladies who came to seat beside me at different times when i was eating at kfc during my break from 8 to 10pm. and talked about their married lives. and asked if it was okay if we said a prayer. hmmm. hahaha.

then there was me bringing the technicians, directorm his wife, who's also acting (cute right)and the coordinator to the drama centre to check out the performance space and backstage. we took a maxi cab there but on the way back we figured it'd be cheaper to split into two and grab two cabs. when i reach the hotel with dauno and the nice technician dude we realise the group in the other cab is nowhere in sight. i have a panic attack. there are other hotel royal branches in sg, the other one real near the drama centre. this one is at newton. they could be anywhere. and none of them speaks english.

so ensues the whole me calling the cab company, the other branch, and finally zagal (the director's) handphone. which cost two dollars and theirty cents cos i did it from the hotel lobby. and finally THANK GOD theyre at newton food cntre. they were so hungry they just decided to walk there. relief much!

omg. and i met this really really nice liasion officer,song, who helped me soooo much, telling me to calm down. and he even cabbed down to the other branch of hotel royal to check if they were there. omg. OMG. nice guy NICEGUY. yeah. so due to the drama i think lost 20 bucks plus which i dont think i can get refunded but as long as everyone's good and safe i think im good. please dont tell my parents. hahaha.

and my dad came to fetch me from the hotel home. and here i am.

adventure.

i will sleep off tmr. hahahaha. nights. oh yeah dilly if youre reading this. always use maxi cab if more than 4 pple! hahahaha.

paperboats.

2009-05-21T03:14:00.002+08:00

today just going back to school, watching the kids rehearse, seeing the performance space, being with anjana miss nansi farah and nad and the rest just really really really makes me feel at home again.

so weird huh? the one place where i dont feel quite so lost, so insecure, so nervous, timid, careless and clumsy is when i have the stage somewhere near me. i realize now when i was younger (wow i am so not old now) or rather when i first started doing drama it was all lights! action! shine on meeeeee! yeah i was lame like that. and really attention seeling as well. ugh. haha. now, whether im fixing wires, pulling ropes, working as a stand in, as long as its being a part of this huge love in my life, im so so so so so satisfied.

okay fine i admit it. i miss acting, being trained, being part of an ensemble, that whole wonerful mumbo jumbo. but its nice to know i have a circle of people who have start to become like family, who still let me help out here and there. happy happy and contented i am. :]

i absolutely love this double bill. watching rehearsals and i had goosebumps. really. such a talented cast man. and an unbelieveable crew. im excited and nervous for them! :]

haha like the good old days i was back home five minutes before midnight. somehow time just passes by so fast.

feels good to be "home".

hmm. slept over at my aunts' yesterday. that was nice. i havent spent much time with her since sem 2 started, so this was good. had dinner with her and my cuz at mad jack's which was yummy. i was pleased with the two waiters who were serving us, and i guess touched as well cos they didnt stare/ogle at my cousin just cos he's different. it makes a huge huge huge huge huge difference to me. people like that, i really hope theyre blessed. cos theyre nice. like i said, it really makes a difference to me and i appreciate it.

i should sleep soon cos i didnt really get too good a sleep cos of the air con. so not used to sleeping in air con. i kinda bindled myself up in the blanket and next to a bolster i think i really might have been mistaken for one. small and skinny and annoying. haha.

yayy my homies are coming over tmr. haha. i should sleep soon. WHY AM I REPEATING MYSELF. i must be that sleepy huh.

okay nights. :]

beat.

2009-05-18T23:48:00.002+08:00

today is one of those days that i realy and truly am grateful for music. in any form, genre, beat, language. it transcends all boundaries. music rockssss.

okay today i had an arm workout vacuuming and mopping the house. and pretty proud of myself if i may say so myself. no easy feat okay. it seriously was like tiring. and it took a whole day. either that or i took abnormally long. hahaha.

okay so this week i have many things to do. but the thing is i cant confirm anything because nothing is confirmed. you know what i mean? yeah like every plan is hanging on whether another appointment or schdule is on, which in turn is dependant on smth else. yeah! so im completely busy yet free as of now.

i feel like watching a chic flick. like princess diaries 2! hahah yeah i saw the trailer on channel 5 earlier today and got all excited seeing chris pine.

which reminds me! i finally watched twilight. i have a sudden feeling of dejavu. have i blogged about this before? cant remember. okay but anws weird dialogue aside, i liked the "tension" between them, like throughout the scenes. so that was good.

okay i need to transfer to the hall. mariyah needs to sleep! okay laters.

wait!

2009-05-18T02:15:00.001+08:00

okay fine just one more korean vid. hehehehe.

moderation.

2009-05-18T01:29:00.003+08:00

hello. okay somethings up with blogger. all the text editing features have kindof disappeared. hmm.

today was good! spent the bulk of the day with auds chilling at tamp and yakking away in front of *drum roll please* elevator doors. hahaha. nice couch. i finally feel back in touch with auds since i have not seen her since Godknowswhen.yayy :] i hope we can all meet up again next week before trix heads off to oolala france!

err lets see whatelse. i felt kinda paisehh actually telling the gang what i want for my birthday. but yeah. adillia is prettuy threatening/convincing when necessary. but still. PAISEHH. hahaha. no need to buy anything la seriouss. haha. *shy*

okays so i had like a kinda low point today just contemplating life but then suddenly it hit me. like an epiphany! haha. i mean seriously LIFE IS GREAT. really! i realize that despite, or rather in spite of things that i perceive are down in my life, they kinda make the up parts of my life even more up! you know???

that aside omg this junsu is sooooo cute.

okay off to do some fruitful work. no more korean vids for tonight! hahaha. just music!

youre like ultraviolet!

2009-05-15T23:25:00.005+08:00

stole these pics from dilly's fb account. i had no idea karaoke was so tiring. omg my throat was like whoa. what more clubbing eh? HAHAHA.

happy belated birthday to our beloved deenO! hehehe ho0pe you love your new minah bag. <3>saranghae!

omg dily was the BOMB. i mean it. SERIOUSLY. you were the bomb! hahahaha she was like hitting em notes so high each song. i was like stunned by em notes. HAHAHA. must go karaoke with adillia serious. she owned us all. you go girl! hahahaha. too bad there were no korean songs. hahahaha.

ladies throw our hands up! as you can see were flat out alr.

disco ball.

whoa that was fun. today was fun! :] hahaha. aside from the fact that i nearly got strangled by everyone cos in between every single song i had to say "uh, uh yeah yeah baby, double s 501."

hahahah i couldnt help it. now that i have like all the songs that i could possibly need from adillia. i can stop my late nights on the comp. yayyy so HAPPY. i love our gang. happy belated deen :]

hey i miss catching up with trix jig auds mel xx and jig. i really havent seen them in so long. sunday good? I WANT TO TALK TO YOUUUUU ALLL. hahahha.

okays laterrr. :]

chic lit.

2009-05-12T23:33:00.002+08:00

"i don't know who i am...or what my goal is...or where i'm headed in life".

"it doesn't matter. dont beat yourself up for not knowing all the answers. you dont always have to know who you are. you dont always have to see the big picture, or where you're heading. sometimes it's enough just to know what you're going to do next."

"and what am i going to do next?"

"you're going to help me shell the beans for lunch".

sometimes chic lit is good and surprisingly refreshing. no? :]

spent the day at the briefing for liasion officers with dilly, and then met deen at parkway for some good food and good conversation. hahaha. with the list me and dilly gave her, lets just see what happens.

help im becoming a korean addict.

check check check.

2009-05-10T03:44:00.002+08:00

teddy geiger at 4 am in the morning. nice.

you know what i want this birthday?

i just really really want _____________________.

thank God looks like there might be some cashflow kachinggy ching ching for me this month. okayla i expect backbreaking work. but but but i just wanna not expect anything and go for it! go go go!

okay im tapping my feet to metro station now. hahahha emo feelings have disappeared! power of music much? hahahahah.
ooooeeewooeewooo oh! wish we were older!

things to do.

2009-05-09T23:36:00.002+08:00

1. keep my mouth shut.
2. err keep my mouth shut?

3. indulge in unreal things for the sake of it.
4. positive energy needs to seriously be channelled. haha.

5. keep my mouth shut.

cheechaaa.

2009-05-08T01:41:00.002+08:00

im so so so so so omg tired today. okay fine so maybe i always do stupid things like all the time. and mostly its ridiculous and just plain downright dumb. but omg today was such a waste of my time taking that bus around the whole of katong for an hour. plain tiring tiring. and so not funny.

i dont know why this "common sense" part of my brain always seems a little unwired. like im going to be twenty this year and seriously the things i do are such a joke! AHHH. okay angry rant over.

so today was job hunting part one. unsuccessful much?

but okay i tried. i think worst come to worst (or is it worse come to worse?what a weird expression) im gonna find a tuition job again? it seems wandering around looking for shops hiring sales assistants is not too good a plan. hopefully smth from somewhere crops up!

aja aja. hahahaha. okay in other news i was at sembawang music checking out dbsk cds and i think the storekeeper dude was looking at me funny. though i think im being oversensitive. i could have imagined it. but point is! music is universal what. no need to be like korean to listen to korean what. i watch bollywood and i dont speak hindi what hello. okayla even though im indian ahah. thats besides the point. okay i have lost the point. but yeah i dunno i feel very self conscious checking out cds that are not eng/malay. which is lame la.

okay im rambling. bye!

as beautiful as it is miserable.

2009-05-06T17:59:00.002+08:00

job hunting online. and other things that make me a little more awake.

seniors' camp was good, though i got a lil dehydrated and my mind went blankk after the first day cos of the sun. was pretty zonked after that but spent the whole day yesterday recuperating aka sleeping my butt off.
but it was good. me jig dino and trix, and my new korean best friend dbskebony. hahaha. :] and pedro and kai shi. that formed our formidable slacker og that manages somehow to sometimes win!

but yeah it was nice. good job baya! haha.

sometimes i realize i like want something soooo much till i dont want it anymore, like my technological device (haha). ive been thinking/wishing/obsessing about it, until reality comes and washes over me. okay maybe next time.

works the same with other things as well.

okay bye!

love in the ice.

2009-04-30T21:01:00.002+08:00

yes yes i need a chilled heart.

woohoo today was nice. just chilling out with some free people. hahahaha. *winks*

hey omg have you guys watched this show called wipeout?? on axn thursdays at nine. omg. laugh your ass off. serious.

anws nash zheya and dilly say that x-men: origins is great which means i must must watch it. okay will write/type more when i have more substantial things to say. haha.

translation.

2009-04-30T04:09:00.002+08:00

how do i phrase this. weird huh. for someone who talks a lot.

i should get to bed like now. seriously. haha.

what do i do?

of beauty and other issues.

2009-04-28T22:04:00.002+08:00

hello! great day out!

hee before which. i still stand by my opinin that there are no such thing as uglygirls, only girls who i guess are a lil lazy to look nice. case in (current) point. did you see susan boyle after they just combed her hair to the side? made a WHOLE lot of difference. she looked great! just hair parting! yeah.

then again there are a number number (quite a few of em) days where i absolutely seriously cant be bothered, which is ironic though im vain. hahaha. but yeah, i still seem to see a pretty girl in every girl. yayy go us girls.

today was well spent. i feel tired though all i did was havea hilarious muchly-missed chat with zheya dilly and for awhile siti too. omg they were there at the interview thingy too! yayy! so random right. i was so pleaseantly surprised! hee. interview (which was, to me, so-so) aside, we then wennt to starbucks for a bit of deceiving and annoying on my parrt. hahahah.

that was fun. fun. hope we can all all all meet up soon.

okay other than. think i shall start proper job hunting soon.

okay time for youtube!

bolero.

2009-04-28T00:30:00.002+08:00

okay hi hello today was totally my boy indulgence day. with....who else but zac efron. omg omg omg me and mel (and trix and auds though they tried being all cool about it) were melting melting melting MELTING the entire show. okay maybe not entire. minus the part where his hair was from the 80s. hahaha.

but it was lovely, loads of eyecandy momonts, hilarious bits and of course, good ol nice ending romance. totally recommend it to friggin eevryone in this whole wide world. okay that might be a bit much but its zac efron.

okay enough drooling im starting to get disgusted with myself.

hee. okay so today after the movie we went to check out the fyps at the singapore arts museum. i was actually pretty surprised/intrigued/impressed with what i saaw, mostly cos its kinda a weird feeling seeing them graduating with like that as their you know, final product from the school. its like their baby ah. okay weird expression but yknow what i mean.

the one minute video took up so much energy and time. what more theirs! wah power to the seniors.

i especially liked lol.sg and the funeral. the former because i felt it shed new insight, and was well done the latter cos the story friggin rocked and the entire way it was done was nice, especially the food analogy at the last scene. nice nice nice. and the taoist and christian priest both praying at the same time. very poignant.

today was also a day of like reflecting, i guess? as we flitted between zac efron, aware, zac efron, singapore politics, zac efron, foreigners here, zac efron (okay enough) and stuff like that.

sometimes i think that the reason i choose to ignore alot of the things that affect me, or that are so obviously happening around me is because sometimes being apathetic is just easier. or being apathetic means less emotions invested= less emotions that have a potential to be screwed in the end.

or i act like i dont notice. or i act like dont care. or i act like a dont bother. okay keyword here is act.

anws! today was nice so why think so much about the darker recesses of our minds!

tmr i need to get myself to the mica building by two pm. which means im sleeping early today and waking up early tmr. keyword here is early.

anws auds and trix have a good time at the beer fest tmr and mel have fun shopping at bugis! i needa meet up with the rest. the one thing sad about sch ending is that we dont see familiarity for awhile.

okay on to other news. lets see what else. i watched the same korean video enough times that i memorized part of it and am seriously starting to get sick of it. ENOUGH.

this holidays something feeels just a little different. usually i am happy and more than contented to laze at home and do nothing, this time i just really wanna push myself a bit. even though i know working or interning or anything else will be tiring potentially uncomfortable or even downright scary. somehow i feel its about time i did things like that. omg my birthday is coming soon okay random.

:]

well thats about it. seeyou all soon. hope everyones good. :]

occasional indulgences.

2009-04-25T23:28:00.002+08:00

okay so i dont usually totally melt (publicly) over guys. but shucks, have you seen jay leno in the episode with hugh jackman??? omg. wow. now thats what i call a MAN.

it must be the hormones that readjust themselves whenever i get the P. but yeah. :] yum.

just finished watching me without you. its been one of my fave films since forever. i think i first watched it when i was in sec one, and i just found it on youtube whilst studying for what is cinema on weds. and got down to watcching the entire thing today. really like it. a nice coming of age kinda flick. plus i think michelle williams is a fab actress.

had a nice long talk with anjana today after mtg miss nansi lubs mikey and farah (whom i havent seen in 2342937498374 long).

i think i needed that starbucks session. feel a lil me and rebellious yet sane but cheeky and cooperative. yeah the whole mesh.

okay bye! :]

cos i feel like i do even more now than i thought i would.

2009-04-25T02:39:00.003+08:00

hello.

just got back and hour and a half ago, had a nice bath and am chilling here for abit before i go to bed cos i actually feel sleepy. spent yesterday on youtube washing my eyes out on korean stuff so much so that i think overdid it. hahaha.

today was nicely spent with jig mel auds xx trix and edwin shopping (well window shopping for me) and talking and chilling and talking about the heat.

i dont know about you guys but the weather has made it so easy to strike up a conversation with anyone, even a stranger these days.

me: omg its so hot these days right?
random person: yeah i know tell me about it!
me: yeah im like totally sweating just lying in bed
random person: yeah i know right? me too, and like when i go out and stuff....

....

conversation goes on for awhile. after which i go on to talk about the freaky tornado winds. makes for great conversation.

so maybe this intense heat has its merits?

okay where in the friggin world i got the sudden urge to type out the above i have no idea. hahahaha.

listening to the hush sound. good chillax music. but now im a lil lazy and sleepy.

wanted to blog about some stuff but shall do so in bullet point cos im feeling a lil lazy.

so so so so so many times im like miss ungrateful and annoying but today ive learnt that man, we sure have a lot.
i can so taotally bury myself in that eunos clothes shop with cheapo nana buys. i just need the CASH.
maybe, just maybe. i was thinking about it. maybe here i am, really at a crossroads of sorts in my life. hmm so my parents were right?
trixie totally rocks cos she found this cool vintage bag shop at the army market (is that what you call it) and i totally liked the stuff i saw there.
i bought cleo mag.
ohmygosh i needa meet up with the gang.
okay i sleepy.

hope everyone's good! :]

and this is the end?

2009-04-23T03:37:00.002+08:00

hello hello okay wow it has been a long seven days and here i am tasting freedom. somehow though, everything still feels.....

the usual.

except for the scary tornadohurricanethreeminute wind that seriously scared me spookedddddd. omg it was like twister the movie. only weird people like my cuz and auds seem to find it shiok though. hahahaha.

what is cinema was alright. i think i lost a bit of steam getting into the second question but ohwells. i tried la. like all the other papers this sem, i leave my fate to fate.

hahaha pensieve much?

this is the weirdest after-exam feeling that i have. uni life is weird huh?

but it does feel good. im freeeeeeeee. gonna look for a job and make myself a pile of moolah so i can spend it yayy. and save it for my tuition fee uh oh.

but that one's a long time coming.

on to other news!

hmm lets see. whats there to report?

well it was bk after exams with trix hendric and xx( who was 212736126387163 hours later) and some of trix's friends who were off to (wait for it)

theplacewherethelightsaredimmedlowandpeoplestandclosetoeachotherwithloudmusicplayingloudly andeveryonemovestheirbody.

but auds had cramps (hope youre better!) and mel omg where you go! and jig was at home. so yeah. 17 again? yayy.

okay i dont know what im doing still awake. a little huungry but im sleepy.

nights and ciao!

when your heart's almost in it.

2009-04-13T05:07:00.002+08:00

hello here i am in the wee hours of monday. taking short (okay now its not that short) break from communication research.

happy anniversary ma and pa! i would love to put up that pic of the both of you that we took at delifrance today but maybe next time.. like after exams or smth.

the exam period is an odd one, no? especially uni ones. i feel like im in some strange err spaced-out ish time. like ive time to study, but i feel sleepy and suddenly other things are SO interesting. focus girl FOCUS.

anws my parents have been married for twentyfour years! *private moment thinking of this big huge (still nonexistent) love of mine* hahahaahha. but yyeah. dad was sweet, he bought her three of like her favourite new collection cornell dishware.

i know what youre thinking cos i was thinking the same thing. like hurh MANGKUK? PLATES?

but my mom was so happy you shouldve seen her man. it was sweet la. its like he still knows how to make her smile after all these yearssss.

maybe when we all become housewives and have kids we'll come to love having stuff like new dishware and stuff like that. an interesting future eh? hahaha.

so for dinner which was spent nicely with aunts at delifrance which has like service time lag of -93247298374 hours, i had oily chicken and am recovering from heartburn right now. but twas good!

okay bye im talking too muchhh. :]

old school.

2009-04-11T22:17:00.001+08:00

billy joel's vienna.

Slow down, you crazy child
you're so ambitious for a juvenile
But then if you're so smart, tell me
Why are you still so afraid?

Where's the fire, what's the hurry about?
You'd better cool it off before you burn it out
You've got so much to do and
Only so many hours in a day

But you know that when the truth is told..
That you can get what you want or you can just get old
You're gonna kick off before you even
Get halfway through
When will you realize, Vienna waits for you?

Slow down, you're doing fine
You can't be everything you want to be
Before your time
Although it's so romantic on the borderline tonight
Tonight...
Too bad but it's the life you lead
you're so ahead of yourself that you forgot what you need
Though you can see when you're wrong, you know
You can't always see when you're right. You're right

You've got your passion, you've got your pride
but don't you know that only fools are satisfied?
Dream on, but don't imagine they'll all come true
When will you realize, Vienna waits for you?

Slow down, you crazy child
and take the phone off the hook and disappear for a while
it's all right, you can afford to lose a day or two
When will you realize, Vienna waits for you?

And you know that when the truth is told
that you can get what you want or you can just get old
You're gonna kick off before you even get halfway through
Why don't you realize, Vienna waits for you
When will you realize, Vienna waits for you?

"do everything for everyone"?

2009-04-10T10:35:00.002+08:00

hmm really? do i? i'd like to think i make choices that i am confortable living with.

does that mean i get stepped on easily? hmm. maybe? sometimes?

but still. and i know this sounds dumb cos yeah ultimately all like the eventual consequences rests on me and no one else, as in i really have no one else to blame.

but like i said, id like to think i make choices that i am comfortable living with.

would anyone like to operationalize the term comfortable? hahahah. should we do a field or true experiemnt on LIFE? i dunno leh. hahahah.

okies gna finish up work! ciao.

love is a battlefield.

2009-04-10T02:05:00.003+08:00

in lieu of the fact that auds says old school music makes her feel "backward" haahah i will singg out loud to the 80s! *struts and sings*

We are young, heartache to heartache we stand
No promises, no demands
Love is a battlefield
We are strong, no one can tell us we're wrong
Searchin' our hearts for so long, both of us knowing
Love is a battlefield

long day today! i had only three hours of sleep from wednesday night. boy oh boy busy much? 202 deadline tmr. tmr night? still got some way to go! but today was.. nice. hung out with the annoyingkids and laughed so much. i think it lifted the stress from the past three weeks. exams on wednesday? one at a time please.

happy birthday deen if youre reading this! :] love you la, dude ur age starts with a 2 now man. you are so WOMAN now! heee. loooove you loadsss.

today and over the past few days, ive learnt from xx, dino, auds, trix, mel and jig that yeah experiences do count, and sometimes you cant figure out how anything's gna end up, but hey LOVE IS A BATTLEFIELD. haha. but yeah, good or bad, we learn and we grow. today i also learnt that everyone has their own take, and extreme as they are from ours, hey, thats perfectly alright.

today was com206 screening. i couldnt wake up and reached at ten am! i dont know, and i feel so embarassed for saying this, but when our video came out on the big screen, i just could not stop smiling. like yeah simple plot, simply shot, first time vid, but i just felt like a twang of pride for me and my homies haha baya and sean. it's been just great working with them, getting to know em both (baya how long do we go back man!). i feel happy ive learnt, its been a nice and great experience, and yeah our debut film, who koped my noodles!!! i like it.

showed it to my parents! and twin. they said it was funny! didnt expect em to be like omgmaryamyouaresuchawongkarwai, but even their simple comments made me feel yayy. haha. and yes i though dino's group was awesome, and of the limited films i saw i loved the "rice bowl" plot. so brilliant really. hope they post it on youtube. talent oi talent!

speaking of youtube. me and sufiyan and xx and dino went to post smth lame to the max on youtube for our chinese assignment. omg. hahahahahaha. of course all the fun was in the outtakes. if i become a producer one day i will make sure i never delete outtakes (except those where i feel like slapping myself).

so sleepy so sleepy!

nights.

can you feel it too?

2009-04-07T01:28:00.003+08:00

firstly, hello hello. this is for adillia ayoub. (maybe theres actually a benefit in taking com 202). HAHA.

Retrieved from http://sg.news.yahoo.com/cna/20090405/tap-283-flash-floods-various-part-singap-231650b.html

SINGAPORE: There were flash floods in various parts of Singapore, including Marine Parade and Chai Chee Road, on Sunday.
A video sent in by a Channel NewsAsia viewer shows dark clouds gathering in Tampines. The clouds there looked like a small twister, but dissipated after a while.

heee you see i tell tall tales and all for fun but once in awhile it amuses me greatly that they are TRUE. hahahahahahaha.

so that means you owe me like $26348623462837 cos I bought the car but it got lost.

It's monday. And I finished 202 posting and one third of 202 term project which (thank goodness had been extended to friday). that leaves 206 last min editing, 206 essay, print out 208 and study for 208, oh yeah and yeah casual small thing EXAMS NEXT WEEK.

hope everyone's not too stressed out. i realise all the angry/angsty/ ugh ish feelings do no good to no one, inevitable as they are. so yeah.

i realise that part of the reason (and ive been wanting so post this for so long haha) that i took up helloomgthistakeseffort chinese was because i was secretyly dreaming and hoping for this love story to happen to me (which if you have been reading my blog long enough, will know that i am absolutely smitten by the chracter jason in the movie)

but theres a reason why ACTING is ACTING. and now i have to memorize like72357125376125 chinese characters for my exam next wednesday. if ng choo seong (jason's real name) does not appear trying to sell me pirated takeshi kaneishiro dvds i think i will feel just a slight twang of disappointment). mingbai ma? shi. keyi. ni hao. lao shi. lao ban. wode jia. hen hao. hen gao xin renshi ni. you see you see all these phrases that i can use! and this one i learnt! hahaha wen can mean question or kiss right? omg so sly!

haha okay off i go. nights :]

midnight train to nowhere.

2009-04-04T01:07:00.002+08:00

today is one of those days where, even with company, i feel a little small and alone.

yeah its one of those days where id like to take the midnight train to somewhere, nowhere, everywhere.

what a girl wants.

2009-04-01T00:58:00.002+08:00

hello. coffee much? i just had a cappucino. hmm. feeling a little awake now! but ive to do 206 desigining a bit and attempt a bit of studying! long night heyyyy. you guys still awake. i totally am sure you are. heee.

firstly to my friend whom i had a good chat with today at about 8.45pm whilst waiting for KFC that tried to cheat us of two chickens wahlao. just wanna say. if youre reading this, i think you a pretty dang strong girl thus far :] :] :]

got back about an hour ago with man of steel still inside the mac lab. you go man! and baya who was waayyyy past her sleeping time. and auds who was reading 202 whilst waiting for us sorry love! and trix who left for adm as we left for home. whoaaaaa. busyyyy as bees. for some weird reason i feel like saying BIRDS AND THE BEES and giggling. hehehehehehe.

we can do it we can do it! listening to christina aguilera's greatest hits! very old pop. hahahah im now at i turn to you. *everybody please* AWWWWWWWWWW.

when i lose the will to live
i just reach for you and i can reach
the sky again
i can do anything
cos your love is so amazing
cos your love inspires me
and when i need a friend
youre always on my side
........ .... ......

WHOA STOP PAUSE HAHAHAHAHAHA feeling the love everyone?

omg omg omg LEMME JUST TAKE THIS CHANCE TO CONGRATULATE NUR ADILLIA BINTE AYOUB FOR PASSING THE DRIVING OF A METAL CAR. okay i dunno why i chose to phrase it that way. but still CONGRATSSZZZ. heheheheheh. sorry my hp smth wrong. okay bye. hahahahaha.

getting used to reaching home at 12. but as we discussed just now, in the bigger bigger picture (beyond the cut throat competition and the grades and the need to just succeed succeed succeed)

im glad and thankful im here. and maybe with all the lovely people around, it aint too bad after all.

okay back i go to paint! :]

come on over
come on over babyyyyy

.....

aguilera for the win!

i fell in love with the dj.

2009-03-25T23:37:00.002+08:00

hello! okay so i just got back about ten minutes ago (late much?) but if i type in another sad/tired/helpme post i might just explode, so, in spite of everything! here's a lighter hearted one. hope this makes some people smile if theyre feeling tired!

firstly, and this takes the cake. sean seet farted on my sweater.

he was seating his ass on it, before which baya was telling me about how the smell is the worst she has ever smelt.

whoa. it looked limp and knocked oout. a sweater looking limp and knocked out. help! that little twerp. now thank God i didnt smell it. ugh.

secondly, we finally logged all of em videos on the finalcutpro! omg you have no idea how scared i was at first cos we were having problem logging and capturing it. apparently i missed the intruction that d heng gave, which was not to playback while recording. i find it odd that i missed it seeing as how i was taking down notes! but yeah stuff happens. haha, thank God seet is pretty much a smartypants and we had the lovely help of edwin trixie and derek. yayy cs people are nice!

thirdly, wait is there a thirdly? no leh no more alr. im reading 208 and trying to suss out what to keep and cut, is there a 206 test tmr? hee. i dunno. but its okayla. this is in preparation for our future working lives (hopefully) so no sleep and tired body= training!

before i end off! was listening to hip hop music all the way home, and twas nice.

last last last last last, like the wonderful marilyn monroe said,

"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control, and at times hard to handle, but if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."

girl poweerrrzzz.

:]

2009-03-24T22:35:00.002+08:00

i am so so so so so so so so so so so so tired. and i feel like brain is on overdrive.

thing is it hasnt done much studying.
thing is i dont think i can do much.

i feel like im stuck in a limbo. and im feeling a sense of dejavu when i type that last sentence out.

okay its over maryam just let it go.

todaoy atleast, i feel maybe i can.

today at filming (which was good thanks to trix, hendric and of course sean's kickass friends) i just felt so so so so so so so drained man. like i couldnt even think straight! and the journey home just makes me so tired.

okay now can i go back to happy posts and less pensieve thinking?

on a happier note, i met my cousin abg ibrahim after filming finished. he was meeting a couple of old primary sch friends i think? the nice thing about him is that everywhere you go right if you meet him and like he sees you he'll really take time out, like go up to you and talk and like just be this great great great older brother to you. thats what i really appreciate about all my male cousins, theyre all nice and protective, like the brothers i dont actually have. same with my female cousins. but of course my older sister protects me the most yayy.

okay i havent eaten dinner. im not gonna take in a deep breath and just chill.

is anybody out there?

2009-03-24T00:05:00.002+08:00

today is one of those days where i feel

insecure
damn traumatised
restless
drained?

and i will not look back on today and hope tmr is better cos i realise sometimes thats a pretty lame habit that i have. like i tell myself oh yeah today was real ugh so tmr's gonna be fab and great then at the end of the two days im like how come i dont feel all great and good?

after the traumatising what is cinema lecture and the case of me stopping at pioneer mrt on the way to sch cos i was carrying the heavy tripod, and ended up missing 5 179s cos it was so so so packed and thus reaching pretty late, i was like whoa. help! so i took a nice long long long friggin walk home to destress and just checked out stars, clouds, trees and the houses and homes of neighbours like a kpo.

tmr's the bulk of filming left. i dunno theres alot left. hope everything goes fine. the fun thing about this is the process and the funny stories im hearing about everyone else's videomaking experiences as well. heee.

and after all
all all all alll
all this while,

im still trying to find myself.

easy to say.

2009-03-21T23:33:00.002+08:00

read this email from my aunt, about this cancer pateient who was 21 and got married then, and passed away 5 days after.

this was the accompanying like caption thingy:

Happiness is reachable, no matter how long it last. We should stop making our lives complicated. Life is short
Break the rules forgive quickly kiss passionately, love truly laugh constantly
And never stop smiling no matter how strange life is
Life is not always the party we expected to be but as long as we are here, we should smile and be grateful.

yeahh. :] refreshing.

okies wanted to post about filming today but that will take an entirely long post so maybe btmr. okay wait maybe now.

a short summary. it was fun! it was insane when it rained! sean i swear has the nicest friends! thanks guyssss. baya's mom's cookies rocked! welfare comm (me and baya) did good i think despite the sad state of zul and terence's faces (as well as his clothes) by the end of today. i hope we did alright. here comes tuesday. hahahahah. :]

did i mention we forgot the mounting plate? yeah. you know, the one you need to use to PUT THE DANG CAMERA ON SO YOU CAN MOVE IT AROUND ON THE TRIPOD STAND. yeah yeah that one. we forgot that one.

but hey *shoots the same look as baya* who needs those when our GOOD DIRECTOR has arms of steel eh? hahahahahahahahaha.

i like our group loads.
k laters gonna sleep a bit wake up and attempt some sort of work. attempt. hee. nights!

thinking.

2009-03-19T21:43:00.002+08:00

one thing i like about school, school in general is learning real interesting facts. i dunno like just in general? was reading through 206 photography reading and gained new perspective about like the act of taking pictures in itself.

i dunno maybe i've always not really been the superduper happycamper take pictures type? ive always thought (and this is my honest opinion) that sometimes memories are just best captured in your mind, so if you dont have a camera with you, you make sure you take that one mental snapshot of that special moment, a sad period, anything. for me thats always worked, so even like if you need to reminisce, like you have something to hold on to?

yeah so ive been doing that for yearsss. so it was nice to read about how some prolific photographers didnt look to others, or the outside world as a means of capturing art, but in their own private lives. like yeah they posed fer the shots, but they told a story, like they posed, but as themselves. AIYAH HOW TO SAY I ALSO DUNNO HOW TO SAY THEN LIKE THAT CANNOT SAY YOU JUST GOOGLE THIS NAME.

nan goldin.

yeps.

okay pensieve thoughts aside. LIVE AND LOADED ive to catch that.

and pratice huayu.

zaijian.

:]

looking to see so i can see without looking.

2009-03-19T00:41:00.002+08:00

i am so friggin tired and my cough has come back. but i am so thankful today went alright woohooo sufi XIAOXUAN auds janie felicia yayyy im glad to have been able to be a part of this. but omg IM SHAGGED.

stellastory totally blew me away they sound sooooo good live! so glad they came man. and for this cycle was friggin making all of us melt. wah esp when he played teddy geiger. my favourite favourite. well one of my favourite favourite. and for a 16 year old kid to have the guts to come up and play like that, like a pro! hats off to him!

hee jig and dino were good too! im so glad they decided to sing tgt. :] aiyah everyone friggin rocked la, winners or not. it was nice.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

how come now cannot see.

it's so damn sweet of you to look me in the eye.

2009-03-17T00:59:00.002+08:00

longgg monday. now that its over, i thank God i made it man. phewwww. 205 second speech is over! i exceeded the time limit by quite a bit. but i had fun doing the assignment so im just happy i got to share it with my supernicefunnycool com205 class!

watched this nat geo documentary on mecca and the pilgrimage in the eyes of different people, this african guy, malaysian guy and this american lady. wow. dunno its all just very moving. i want to help my parents save up for that, insyaAllah that'd be one of the nicest things i can do for em.

some random thing happened in sch today which just kinda threw me off, but yeah, i dunno i guess its chance and a biggger reason why it happened. so yeps im feeling alright now. :]

tetapkan my iman, oh please tetapkan my iman.

popped two panadols and the aftertaste of bitter pills is in my mouth. i dont wanna fall sick again cos i just recovered so i should go to bed soon!

whakced this yummy kuih my aunt made, whacked a fillet o fish, whacked fish crackers from malaysia. ooohyeahhh.

okies im off! nights! and if youre doing com205 grp presentation tmr, all the best!

obvious song.

2009-03-15T02:09:00.002+08:00

i had like a rough draft of what i wanted to say here as soon as i got back from jb. i typed it out there when i brought my lappie in an atempt to watch stuff online. no internet (and pakcik refuses to get it cos his house is meant for rest and relaxation purposes only). anws now that im opening it and reading it, its like so pensieve and emo-esque. so yeah maybe i'll post a lil later, not now though.

and so my today my cousin's husbandtobe came over with family and all to officially ask for her hand in marriage. i missed it, but mom and dad say they make a perfect couple. yayy! im sooo friggggiinnn excited ah that shes getting engaged and married! woohoo! august here we come! so excited! heee. :] :] :] on my dads side, my cousins' average age is like 40. so i only saw one cousin getting married, that too when i was only in primary five. on my mom's side all my cousins are averaging in their twenties, and kak khadijah (who's 26) is the second oldest, so its nice to have a cousin getting married, esp now that im going to be 20 and really starting to see life you know, like really see and experience it and i dunno im just so darn happy for her.

i mean theyve waited 9 years to finally finally be tgt, so thats just wonderful. :] :] :]

jb was wonderful. i really had a good time man, just letting go of alot of the tension from these past few weeks, relaxing, eating, laughing, talking. it was all good, really good. i feel thankful that i decided not to be a lazy ass and go. :] thank You.

dilly hak and sit are at bintan! hope its gg good for em, and i hope theyre having a ball of a time.

my batt is DEAD so to contact me, err dont contact me till i charge it proper.

i dont know today i just feel so much LOVE in the air.

will post up jb pics soon. when we went on the boat ride me and twin were eyeing cute boatman. haaa.

but after that the waves and the clouds and the scenery were so darn beautiful that we werent distracted for long.

okiedokes im off. hope everyone;sgood.

dry your tears with love.

2009-03-10T22:29:00.002+08:00

hee if you recognise the lyrics, im expanding the type of music i listen to.

hello! today was a long day. had 205 in the morning, of which i didnt think i did too good cos the synchronisation of the slides and my speech went a little wonky and off. but yeah i gave it the best i could within that, so its alright la. but i did feel a lil down, so me kim and jeremy went to have breakfast macs (first time im eating oancakes this sem) at can a, after which me and kim decided to watch suspect x. brilliant movie. plot works real real well, even though like the newspaper review said, we know who the killer is at the start, its still a thrill unraveling the entire case. plus the professor is cute man. except for his really badly super defined eyebrows omg.

so yeah i highly recommend the movie. jap humour is nice... plus you get to see weird jap movie trailers that you normally wouldnt see, haha.

yeah what i really liked about the plot is about how the prof cant come to terms to why the maths whiz would do such a thing, since clearly, his mind works through logos, logic. of course, the answer is love. but i dunno, just the way love was portrayed in the movie, very melancholic, and sad, yet still so real. not popcorn kinda love, and thats the edge i felt the movie had ah. and kim was great great company!

this compared to watchmen, which i watched over the weekend with sis and cousins. hmm.i liked it la, the plot is good, nice revelation about like vigilantes vs superheroes. but gory la. eugh.

today is nenek's 100th day death anniversary.

was sad about it junnow but im good and calm now. death, i think its not something i can ever be just like totally okay with. and im starting to learn maybe thats okay.

so all of us got together at nenek's place to read prayers and just get together la. it was nice. i miss her, but i think she'd be happy seeing us. hope God keeps it like thhat. :] so met most of my cousins and aunts. heee. who laughed at my red extensions. as expected lovely aunty muna liked it. :]
but i may ct it off soon!

and yayys auds gave me metro station i amn so so so sos so so sos so sos sos so sos so sos os yayy about it.

thats the trick see. you gotta get up when youre feeling down, and smile through em frowns. and you gotta be less afraid, and stay true to yourself. so mistakes take em in good stride, achievements, really appreciate, always be thankful and always be comfortable in your own skin. yeah im learning, slowly slowly.

EVERYONE BE HAPPY!

i wanna get to that stage where i can want without needing! that'll be good. hahaha. mariyah's starting work tmr!!!!!! can you hear the ka ching ka ching buzzinga round. KA CHING KA CHING!

yayyyyy.

hello.

2009-03-08T03:03:00.003+08:00

its three in the morning and im online with the gang.

im glad i talked to em. i feel better ah, was real down about it just now.

OKAY HELLO ITS THREE IN THE MORNING TAU.

aper seh.

TIME TO SLEEP. rest is needed. because im gearing up for an industrial exhibition. my mind all has to be alert. alert. ALERT.

okay goodnightttt.

lessons.

2009-03-07T01:59:00.002+08:00

hey hey heyyy. its the weekend!

yayyyy. :]

dinner celebrating melly's birthday was good. :] i learnt alot, and i think i shared more than i thought i wouldve, so thats good. i think theyre all insane. but good insane. hahaahahaha. melly happy birthday!

and the random hair extensions. omg. hahahaha. hendric's one owned the rest of us. hahaha.

okayyyyyyyy LATER SEE YOU GOODNIGHT.

this just occured to me.

2009-03-05T22:51:00.002+08:00

was looking at my previous posts and what is up with me and all these korean jap videos all. amitha must be shaking her head. hahahahahaha. okay i was reading miss nansi's blog and came across an equally, albeit differently, wonderful vid about love. old school taj mahal type! alamak cannot embed heres the link WATCH IT. hindi! :]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BS6K0OmiCfs

okays really really ciao for today!

thats what you get.

2009-03-05T22:29:00.002+08:00

hey. okay ive been away for awhile. SCHOOL.

im supposed to be doing 205 work right now but this week my brain feels just a little befuddled. and distratced.

in random news tears seriously started streaming down my eyes when i was watching x japan's final concert on youtube. omg. like honestly. i dont even know what x japan is about. i dont even listen to stuff like that. as usual youtube to me is alike a little playground and i end up watching the most random things and today i stumbled across that. hmm weird. but the video is beautiful. really got to me.

this is what i love so much about music. its ability to transcend race, language, context. okay if you dont feel the same, too bad.

as youve probably heard by now this guy jumped at the building next to mine on monday. okay old news. idk why but i feel like disturbed. just the idea of someone feeling that life is not worth much, not worth anything anymore. its so sad ah. how did we end up like this? slaves to an education system? what scares me is how sometimes i feel so stressed and fed up and stuff like that.

faith. thats what keeps us sane, together, alright.

i dont know i feel its only in uni that things have started to loosen up a bit. maybe its just me loosening up. after nenek left and aunty muna got diagnosed things have changed for me.

sometimes (esp last wekend) i feel i miss nenek so much, then i get so angry cos im sad thinking about how i was in the past when she was still alive. sometimes i feel like a horrible horrible person.

do you ever get the feeling that you keep questioning everything about yourself. even when you know you believe, and you know you can do it. ENTAH LAH.

wow okay long emo post. sorry about that. just keep the faith maryam and take a chill pill. and dont be so lazy.

mariyah got a job! thank God! :] i feel relieved. you go twin! heee. so weird. shes done with school for good! atleast for now. man shes gna be like a fulltime fulltime worker. WEIRDNESS. that leaves me the only student in school in our house. heee. now i have two people to blanja me lunch, clothes. YAYYY.

okiedokes. bye ciao!

heeeeeeyyyyyy.

2009-02-28T02:25:00.002+08:00

went out for dinner with aunts today. a good and much needed breath of fresh air. but as soon as i went anwhere air conditioned, my cough comes back. no cinema, theatres, malls, hahahah LECTURES???

k i dont get the lyrics or the song,, but the story is so sadd. i found out theres this like sleeping disease, like the patients just fall sleep whenever/wherever, so its real dangerous. but yeah this is a pretty sad vid.

okies ciao.

roll by.

2009-02-26T23:40:00.005+08:00

at the beach on sunday!

i think its probably the most reclusive break ive spent. hmmm. went to the doc again. got some muscle relaxants. InsyaAllah all's gna be good soon. being sick is restrictive.

okay bye

hurts.

2009-02-25T01:29:00.002+08:00

oww theres like these two parts at the back of my body that are seriously hurting rightnow. like owww. i dunno its not a muscle ache and it only started after i caught the flu, so i dont exactly know what it is. Its gonna be a week since i fell ill and my cough has not gone away. for the first time i finished my antibiotics pills okay. though jig the scary doctor told me i DIDNT actually need to. jig jig. haha. PLEASE BODY GET WELL SOON. its the breakkk! i should be flying around about the clouds. hahahha.

please God i hope i get well soon. i really dont get much done when im down. hee today though i managed to practice abit of chinese. which leaves research for 205, 202 and somethingelsebuticantremember to settle. omg finally the korean series you are my destiny is OVER FINISHED KAPUT GOODBYE. i am so happy. my father can no longer hog and watch channel 173. kbs WORLD. i swear koreans are taking over the world.

theyre not all bad though. today for family time (haha) all of us sat down in from of the goggle box and watched an episode of boys over flowers. plot;s alright. but omg pleasse what issit with like korean viewers liking guys who look like GIRLS. the hair, the face, the clothes. omg they look/dress/smell (okay maybe not smell) better than me.

scary much. okay so i dont exactly dress so girly. still. too much of the floppy hair is just URGH. the only person who can carry floppy coloured hair anyway he likes is BAE YOUNG JOON but only because he is the KING of korean dramas and kings can do whatever the heck they like.

so because im still in pain and coughing i cant go for spectrum tvs thingy tmr. which i ws acually kinda excited about but yeah.

maybe next time.

i should get started on other work. why do i oonly feel hardworking at one hello thirty eight in the morning.

i miss the gang. HURRY SELF GET WELL SOON SO YOU CAN ORGANISE I MEETING.

did i just type i meeting? gosh. i am sick huh. hahah. i meant A MEETING.
and if im still sick how to meet up with school dudes. and mifa. though i will prob drag my butt for 205 meeting cos we're the first group to present.

anws jig i hope i havent sent you the flu bugs!

i havent climbed rocks in a long while.

oh noooo theres drama tmr. at tjjj. SELF YOU CAN DO IT. get better! :]

okies later.

do.

2009-02-23T23:00:00.002+08:00

not feeling too good. pills make me feel horrible. the sides of my body are kinda in pain. my comp is scaring mr seriously.

went out with ma fawz today to wtch the worst hindi movie ever made. of which i will not elaborate on. found a quaint cupcake shop off tiong bahru, called caramel & hareloom. lovely.

cough is a pain.

gonna lie down. i should attempt to do some work soon. or research. or studying.

hmm so maybe thats why i keep watching.

DONE DONE DONE,

2009-02-20T14:38:00.003+08:00

completion.

i have completed all my assignments and handed them in. *PATS AND HUGS SELF*
PHEW. cant believe its all done. well presentation later ah, but yeah.

my essay. MY ESSAY. i just handed it in. even if i wanna do anything, my brain, as i mentioned like two posts ago, is soooo done with analysing. i hope i didnt come across as too...yeah. well i tried la really.

was watching the channel 5 hospital show, lifeline (is that what its called?) yesterday. they featured the young girl that was in the icu next to my aunt, the one with leukaemia. thats her i think. so they showed her getting treatments and stuff, they totally wiped out her white blood cells to kill the cancer. and she got like infections and stuff as a result. anws, she passed away. they said it at then end of the show. i just dont know why, when they played that at the end, i was just so like darn shocked. i dunno.

i think because in the entire month that we were there almost daily, we saw the family, like her whole family was there too. her brother, friends, fiance, parents, cousins. its like a reflection of me, my cousins, my aunts, my parents. yeah. just the way she fought so hard. its all so WHOA. i think i kinda know sgh like the back of my hand now. hahah.

good food, bad food, toilets, praying areas, halal food, come ask and i shall tell! haha.

okay off to detress with music and go for lessons in a bit. ciao.

calling.

2009-02-20T13:42:00.002+08:00

thud thud thud goes the beat of my heart.

even if, why wont i grow up?

hey you there in the corner, you see me right?

afterglow.

2009-02-20T02:08:00.002+08:00

okay hello hi.

ive just finished squeezing out whats left of ideas in my brain for my what is cinema assignment. im afraid because of the weightage, but at the same time i really cant write much more.

thanks to inspiration from my dad and miss nansi, i managed to complete 206. please God i hope it turns out alright.

and so after talking to mifa, miss nansi, lizzo, kak sof and a few other people. i think maybe its not so bad after all. right now i dont think i can handle so many complications like the ones my friends are facing.

its weird that after i start on my antibiotics, my cough starts. the pills make my stomach so hungry so fast.

the nicest person just beeped me on facebook to tell me she found my ezlink card. THANK GOD. seriously. seriously.

i had a nap before i started work and i woke up i felt loads better though i know it was a weird dream involving like random cs people.

just a little bit more to go. :]

thats what you get when you let your heart win.

2009-02-16T00:22:00.002+08:00

wow today was tiring. and my eyes feel drained. and my head feels a little drained tooo. at least i managed to get some work done. not alot, but at least its something. next week theres so much that ive decided not to think about it.

i just watched away from her. gosh. its so sad. but so nice as well.

i spent the day at starbucks. met lubna and rishik cos we were helping out with some thingy he's doing. i miss lubna ALOT. banyak banyak. as you may know by now she is a biology teacher at tkgs. im laughing just thinking of her during practical lessons. you can alreayd guess what happened.

after that i decided that i didnt wnna go home yet, and since i had my lappie and my work i just blasted music and did work till 9. and had two naps. and a blueberry muffin. and a vanilla frappe. im not even supposed to be spending.

i still have three assignments unfinished. im just gonna give it what ive got.

oh yes velentine's with the gang yesterday was loverly. no need to elaborate more. :]

my mom today keeps asking why i dont wanna learn cooking. why i always burn my weekends doing other things. her point is valid. sometimes it seems all i know how to do is study. but the truth? -------.

sometimes im so disappointed at the things i do. most times i try to be better. sometimes i dont care.

today was long. i think im gonna sleep now. okayla whatever. goodnight!

penat.

2009-02-12T23:06:00.002+08:00

im feeling a lil tired today. trying to do some work now, but my brain feels like so gasifgagsdfajgsf.

cmon maryammmmmmm.

yah so i rented the dslr today. hahah my pictures are amateurish but i had good fun with the camera.

sometimes i feel everything around me, at the exact moment when im thinking of smth, is a sign. like today.

trying to keep my brain alerttt.

i was so sleepy at raffles looking for an angle to take photos that i took out a pen and paper in an attempt to right, but i wrote some gibberish cos i was like semi conscious.

you see i even typed out the word right instead of write.

okies hang in there everyone GOODNIGHT :]

e is for effort.

2009-02-11T00:10:00.002+08:00

haysss. *in antm style*

i know its a small thing, but i kinda feel disappointed that the ephiphany person like didnt reply to my email fer the free workhop thing for this coming sat and sunday. i mean i did take 283674874 days to decide to sign up for it, but i at least sent in last friday. maybe its so popular that like its so friggin super the fully booked and she had no time to reply me. maybe.

but i find it a little not easy to feel too down and out now cos im listening to queen's bohemian rhapsody. hehehehehee. i everytime i listen to it i wanna laugh. freddy mercury rockssssssssss. king man, king.

in other news im totally trying to memorize chinese characters. ni hao. zaoshang hao (good morning) zao (morning) xiawu hao(good afternoon) zhongwu hao (good afternoon, esp lunch) wan an and wan shang hao (good night and good evening) and of course zaijian. SEE YOU BYE BYE.

okay fine so its basic to the max. E is for EFFORT.

so after watcing night and fog (a very graphic holocaust docu-movie), i watched stranger than fiction, which was nice, all as part of research for my essay on cinema. after which i was walking to the praying place when guess who i stumbled into ADILLIA BINTE AYOUB who was walking so hurriedly with a weird smirk on her face and later when i found out why i laughed.

so we randomly had a girls day out where we sere supposed to look for pics to take for my 206 but yeah, didntreally happen. i found a lovely older malay couple outside sheng shiong but when i went to ask em fer a pic they politely refused cos the uncle is a teacher or smth. haha. but yeah it was fun.

and me and dilly talked and talked and talked. and we came to the comclusion that E is for EFFORT.

we must try, at least? no matter the results, we gave it a shot, but we still keep who we are! heeeeee sounds like an okay plan! YAYY GO US. gang we have to fill you in quickkk. yayyy i wanna see everyone this sat looking forward!.

oh yeah dills if youre reading this you looked gret today in corporate 101 outfit! :]

i have been cramping for a week and my P is still not here. OUCH. SAKIT TAU.

i wante dto say smth else but i forgot!

i should get my butt down to work! work you, butt!

oh yeah saw stellastory on mon at can a when they were perfoming for artjam. i think theyre as great as when i saw them perform at sch. cool!

okie selamat! bye!

ohi rememebr what i wanted to say! at bedok me and dilly came across the huge like fortune tower thing smack in the middle of bedok central there. then we read the predictions for us snake people. hehehehehehehehehehehe. it sounds good! :] kbyeee.

help!

2009-02-07T19:24:00.003+08:00

hahahah okay excuse the last post. was meant to type out a poem but it didnt happen.

help i am so grumpy. thats badd.d.d.d.d.d.d.d.d.d.d.dd.
i think its gonna be that time. my back aches a llittle!

going to dinner with familly and aunts later. havent seen them in awhile so thats good. :]

yesterday and today i keep thinking of nenek.

i miss her, and i feel that there are many things i could have done for her.

i signed up for the drama workshop but i didnt get a reply, so yeah. looks like i wont go for it after all.

i should go and get ready for dinner.

poetry for the soul.

2009-02-04T22:41:00.001+08:00

hello. as promised, a poem i really like.

whats wrong with me?

2009-02-03T20:36:00.002+08:00

okay so im trying to study for 208.

but my brain feels so..... drained.
today is one of those days where i just wish my thoughts would shut the heck up. like im so sick of thinking and mulling over things that i dont want to think or mull over, but i cant seem to help it. so irritating irritating irritating. what is wrong with me.

just munched on a pair of bananas stuck tgt. twin bananas. yums.

tim tam biscuits is god gift to all choc/biscuit lovers. its so sedap its not even funny.

some lady passed me this paper thingy that says "work and play in the usa". apparently you work there, get paid and in some cases accommodation and food are provided for. dodgy like anything, but i can dream cant i?

thats what i keep doing. dream dream dreaming.

communication research is calling for me. i wanted to post a poem that i saw in the love poem book. been reading that after a long hiatus and found some beautiful ones. but will do so next time or maybe later?

ciao.

next attempt.

2009-02-02T23:32:00.002+08:00

heys. so after like four times attempting to log in im finally here. hello all. excuse my lack of presence here on good old bloggie. been err sleeping a lots. i dunno man, issit just me, or like when i hit the weekends i just feel so so so so so sleepy! i havent a clue. but i tell you i can just sleep and sleep and sleep! man. i think i need to start running again or smth! maybe i shouldve signed up for bouldermania! ahhh i realise that the test is on friday instead of wednesday and now the src bouldering wall is closed till the 11th. bah. there goes my arm exercise for the week.UNLESS. i can last minute sign up? nah, okays mebbe tmr i'll go home early, go for a run and then go fer coffee at starbucksss.

okies in other news, my 205 speech is over and done with! Thank God. :] i spoke too fast la, but yeah, im happy i tried and had fun with it. hope everything goes smoothly, for everyone else! :]

then during what is cinema today i was like ngantuk and distracted cannot maintain. but he was actually talking about like real interesting stuffs, just that i think today was an especially loooong day. yeah!

i found a new mouse for my lappie and am cllinking eevrywhere with it. yayys. did i just type out cllinking? i meant clicking.

my eyes are kinda tired.

on the way back, i was supposed to have dinner in sch, but i had like no cash. then the atm also cannot dispense cash! so i was like emo and slept on the train like a log and a half all the way to eunos, where to perk myself up i withdrew 40 bucks, had a cheese prata, bought a bandung and a top for 15 bucks and felt relieved.

i hope something comes through soon! but either ways i know everyhing happens for a reason so we'll just wait and see!

okay im writing very clumsily. see you all. see y'all. see ya. cyou. peace out homies! hahahahha.

padan muker/amek kau/ ni nak setep cool kan

2009-01-29T01:39:00.002+08:00

hi helloo. okay i just ate my mom's curry fish and its the most solid fresh fish ever. man my mom rocks okay i shouldnt have given the other half of the fish to mariyah. but oh wells. seedap to the max. so anws as soon as i got to rock climbing today i knew that when i got nback i just had to post about it to remind myself.

serves my laazy ass right for skipping weeks and weeks of rock climbing. today when i went i was like so semangat power all. then sekali when i reached the wall i was like HO BOY how come it's all guysss???? in my head i was like MAMPOS. then i was like no. i can handle this. so i gave my rockstar fierce wannakenaslap face ahh. happening. AMACAM. like as if im used to the scenario when actually inside i was like MAK TENSION. then after that i realised that i shouldnt be giving that face cos im like the weakest slowest climber there so like once pple find out they'll friggin laugh at me. so i quickly yet swiftly switched to the wassuphommieimarookie face. dunno if tthat works. but heck i just went for it. k then after that we had to start climbing. and the first time i was like wah not bad reached the top all, like got arms of steel all. then after that omg so embarassing TYRE PANCIT TO THE MAX. i seriously went all wobbly. grip was gone, arms no strngth, legs so clumsy, and after that i never reached the top again.

so yes. that was rock climbing today. but i realize that i actually still like it la. despite my whole dramatic imissdramawhyamiinasport lame ramblings. so yeah. will just go forward with it then. its okay to be the worst rock climber. i will start from rock bottom. *geddit?* then theres no other way to go but up!

forward ho forward ho.

okay thats it from me today. excuse the minah outburst in the center portion of the post.

in other news, i have so many readings. but readings are readings and you cant do anyth but readthem so why so tension.

good thoughts for others and myself. :]

okay see y'all. :]

gong xi gong xi fa cai!

2009-01-26T17:35:00.002+08:00

ni hao ni hao! i would like to wish all my chinese friends and anyone else who celebrates cny a happy new year of the ox! may you all find happiness and fulfillment in the coming year. prosperity prosperity! *thinks of the cat with the moving paw*

hee. for everyone else. its been a good break. i slept off most of saturday and sunday and managed to complete one assignment. so even though theres more, its nice to know i dont have school in a monday and a tuesday, so when it starts on wednesday its like the weekend. wahooo.

what i love about chinese new year (and i completely dont mean this in an evil way) is that the whole of singapore is empty! so i had a nice coffee with just me and miss nansi. i miss her and everyone else. startbucks in siglap holds a lot of familiarity for us. good times! i had a very very nice and relazing talk with miss nansi. which has made me realize many important things.

i think i will try to sign up for the course. and see what happens.

i also wont let that one scary experience make me have doubts about what i love lors.

miss nansi got a shock when i told her im turnning 20 this year. WHOA. yeah i am. its so weird that me and mifa will be in the same age group as our drama teacher and coach. its weird.

i wonder what this year holds for us all.

at the risk of sounding like a repititious droning emo machine, i again wanna say that life must be lived for a number or reasons, one of which must be for oursleves.

whoa strange at this very second my mp3 is playing rihanna's question existing.

anws point is, life is beautiful if i quit making it so darn complex and straining.

i dont need to mix and mesh everything. one at a time!

in other news, being around a loved one who has cancer, and losing grandma has changed me. i dont know in what way exactly, but i definitely am not the person i was, nor i think, will i ever be.

okay then right as i was coming home, the cat who is like so friggin manja came and like practically plopped his skinny little ass on my legs, begging for a full body massage. so i was like okay la. scratch him here, scratch him there, i scratched for him everywhere okay. man i am so nice to animals. hahahahah okay maybe i was trying to make up for the time i led my ex-cat into the cupboard hole where it was stuck for like a couple of hours i think.

excuse the jumping of thoughts please. this is exactly how i would speak anyways. hahahaha.

so right i need to do like an aesop fable for my next speech assignment. so i was thinking of maybe narcissus cos its really nice and interesting. but i also like the boy who cried wolf.

and i need to find pictures and decide on a theme. or rather decide on a theme and find pictures for the visual comm assignment.

for some weird reason i feel like i may not do gaza in the end. hmm.

okay excessivey long post. hahahah ramble ramble.

BYE. :]

oooh yeah hope hak and sit had fun at the eclipse!

youre a little late!

2009-01-25T00:10:00.002+08:00

hello. in the midst of the 208 assignment. listening to natalie imbruglia's torn.

one more journal to go! i dont know this takes so long! but after im done i will be very happy. gonna watch stuff online after this! hahaha. persistence is king, in the words of young. *winks at dilly hak and sit*

mom and sis went to some wedding and it was like superfriggin packed. so they came home and mom statred making like a checklist in her head about what to have or not to have and what we should do or not do at our weddings. and the list went on and on till me and twin had to remind mom that whilst the planning was all well and good there are NO candidates yet. hahahaha.

in nice news, aunt's been discharged from hospital! :] :] :] thank you thank you God.

i wanna blog more! but listening to music makes me bob along to it and my thoughts are singing the lyrics! chris brown!

laterrr.

no dream is entirely a dream.

2009-01-20T21:49:00.002+08:00

hello. i resolve not to be grumpy.
i wll be content with what i have and what i am.
i will look for the next ice cream and munch it down real fast.
i will be irritating and do crazy things like how i used to if i feel like it.
i will one day travel the world and take loads of picture though i dont know how to use a DSLR though everyone else seems to.
i will finish my assignments as best as i can and be contented with them.
i will not be a crazy tkgs girl and still find (at the age of nineteen) all boys in general cute and attractive just because theyre boys.
i will let my twister fries hair be twister fries hair and not control it too much unless it transforms to lion mane. TROUBLE.
i will be better to my family. i wanna thank God cos aunt's so much better :] :] :]
i will not try to overdo nor underachieve.
i will continue to love drama.

i will get back to work like soon soon now soon.

i will look for my white tshirt with the crazy thunder monster and wear it cos it makes me feeel like a crazy thunder monster.

okay okay thats about it. obama's gonna be preseidentttt. great. back to work i go! ciao babba.

nine in the afternoon.

2009-01-20T01:25:00.002+08:00

hello. omg am kinda tired. mondays are longgggg. and i have really assignments to catch up on and readings to finish, not to mention dream story. whoao talk about the term starting.

i like what is cinema lectures. the concepts he explores seriously make my brain cells stretch a bit, which is nice cos they havent stretched too much since the days of poe. speaking of which. the essay question is like WHOAA. but its like re-starting some engine in one of the recesses of my brain, so i just hope i can do as best as i can.

right now my eyes are kinda tired from attempting to look for communication journals online. wow i just realised the ntu database is like very very very extensive and comprehensive.

i think i need to sleep now cos i have 205 at nine in the morning tmr. and thats in 7 hours.

before which i need a dose of hot milo.

its like suddenly everything's stopped. i need to come to terms with that!

yayy aunt seems better today, from what i heard from mom. :] :] :] thank God.

kafka by the shore is so weird. what a really weird book. but man some of the quotes are so like, eye-opening. real good stuff. except for the weird bits that make me feel a tad uncomfortable. i dunno. personally speaking, i think that japanese culture, perhaps because of how stringent and upright it is on the surface, has like as a result led to some sort of like a subversion in individuals there, so i feel alot of their books have like pent up sexual tensions and stuff like that. its like it mirrors some kind of fantasy world that would be completely unacceptable in japanese society.

wow look at the number of times i mentioned the word like. theres this fly thingy buzzing around my lappie. one heck of a persistent bug. hahahaha. okies off i go.

oh yeah. before i leave. today is speech class right, i mean in comm 205, i had to do a speech thing and talk about a profession. so i said that i wanted to be a drama coach. but i was so terribly nervous. you could see la. i really feel like so intimidated in front of crowds. yeah so anws my teacher kinda said (in a summary) that it diesnt really go well tgt,me saying that i wanna be a drama coach and yet being so darn nervous in front of class.

i dont know. for me, the stage is a platform where i perform. but i dont see an audience, though i know im performing to them. theres a huge distinction for me, between performing in front of an audience and speaking in front of people.

on stage i dont fear, simply because im in a role, so when i act i am that person. theres something honest and humbling about that, you cant cheat or lie your way in a role. the audience can see the actor, the individual, the character. to me the best actors make me forget the play is a play.

so yeah. that was a weird but true thing to hear from her i guess. ive withdrawn since i came to uni i realise.

but a couple of days ago i realised, no matter how i try, i cant forget how much i really love and respect theatre and drama. idk, the notion of drama being just over-the-top acting, slapstick hahas, and loud jokes just really irks me. seroiusly.

so byebye rock climbing? hahahaha. i realise drama kept me fit man. push ups, sprints, star jumps, stretches, physical theatre. and there i was, thinking i needed a sport to be fit.

sheesh.

okay nights. :]

hello there.

2009-01-17T15:52:00.002+08:00

heys hi hello. long time no post!

omg its only the second week of school and i alr have a slow and steady pile of things to do. and i shoould get started on them before they build up into a friggin hunge BUKIT but i feel so weekendish. i wanna just chillll like at the beach or smth. haha.

but i have missed my iriitating bunch of friends at school so its good to see them all again. now we just have to see who can snag the most annoying award. id say its tied betwn us all right now.

in other news, zheya was absolutely amazing at her dance concert yesterday. she looked seriously gorgeous and beautiful and princess-ish and i think she's become even more of a fab dancer at smu. CONGRATS GIRL!

it was nice to see the gang againnnnnnnn. haha after our weird attempt at hanging out in pulau NTU.
yayy they rock.

today hak has a HUGE DATE. hehehehe. but i dont think i can comeee. hehh. too bad. wouldve banged doors and all.

i finally found my primary school friend on facebook after searching for 237547623 years. yayy. wait did i just type out fb? hahah oops i meant friendster. yeah good ol friendster that everyone has got up and abandoned.

now though, its time to move on. and move on i shall! weird and tough as it may be.

im taking chinese and i cant really get the four tones thing. which reminds me. i really have homework to do and i should not be bumming around COMPLETELY. okies laters folks.

weird huh it hasnt been raining of late. maybe thats a good thing after all. :]

journey.

2009-01-14T00:18:00.002+08:00

hospital after school today. pray she gets well. i realise now, its our strength that's her strength. but today was tougher. hope she moves back to the other ward. :]

pardon my ramblings.
today i had very bad cramps.
today i was aching all over.

you need to put all your eggs in different baskets.
you need to put all your aches in different baskets.

which one?

what can time do now, when what i was banking on this whole time, was time.

ive got a feeling!

2009-01-11T13:57:00.002+08:00

hello first things first.

me dilly and siti watched grease! yesterday at ite east. dont know about anyone else who went, but the three of us HAD A BLAST, it was so good, well at least in my opinion. esp the vocals. man that guy who was the teen angel blew me awayy. not to mention the energetic cast, and the nice choreo. all good!

we would have been on our feet and tapping and dancing along had it not been for the fact that we dint know anyone from the cast or crew. shucks. heee. it was nice. im gonna keep a close watchout for other musicals by the CeMTA. we walked out of there thoroughly impressed.

good stuff that was.

now ive some discussion board posting to do. but will do so after lunch and a bath.

then ive some 205 planning to do, apparently?

welcome back to schoolll man.

i also need to get my new ez link card done. hmmms.

okies off to be productive.

ciao.

postsecrets.

2009-01-07T22:40:00.002+08:00

was checking out livehjournal post secrets. addictive reads.

thats the challange see. to see what you think are difficulties, and make turn them into challenges. hope i can do that.

what is israel doing????? if they wanna fight hamas, up to them. but dont kill kids and innocent civillians la.

so frustrating.

please God help the innocent.

off we go to school one day.

2009-01-04T23:33:00.002+08:00

i suspect most people with blogs (and who are from ntu) will be blogging about tmr being the start of the new school term! omigosh!

tmr is the start of the new school term!

i end at 7.30 pm tmr. well at least i start at ten thirty. will attempt to pull of running straight from my school to the north spine for my elective lecture. hope i can do it and not be too late.

in happy news, aunty muna is better! Alhamdulillah. seems her condition is improving, so thats a huge huge huge relief. really. now i feel more comfortable and at ease. spent the night at mutuma's yesterday. it was nice, sleeping with her on the bed and the side where nenek used to sleep. really really hope aunty muna can come home soon. :]

to me, whats sad about the hospital is the fact that every bed, every patient has his or her own story, each one with a family, worried, anxious, hoping. over the past couple of days we made friends with this chinese aunty, whose husband was in the icu further down my aunts. he's seventy plus, and its he got admitted after his first chemo session. think his body is older, so maybe the chemo is too strong for him. they dont have any kids. i felt sad for her, but she's very nice, so everytime we come we look out for her. her husband passed away at two pm today. its sad, but she says its good ah, so he doesnt have to suffer anymore. death has taught me to look at things in different perspectives.

like i said before, alot of things that used to take up priority in my mind have been put into perspective. i thank God for that.

everyday there's also a malay family next to us, we've been wondering who theyve come to see in the icu. she's a 21 year old, she's younger than my sister. lupus patient, with a relapse. i see her fiance keeping vigil practically all the time. i pray she gets better and makes it through.

there's an unkown lady, not even thirty, in the respiratory ica that my aunt is in. unconscious, and they dont know who she is, no identification whatsoever.

twice when i go for lunch with my aunts i see this young guy, like mid twenties, and he's a patient. he looks perfectly fit, but skinny, like he's lost a lot of weight. im thinking, all this time i always associate sickness with the aged. i think he may be a diabetic, judging from his legs, theyre slightly darker at the feet.

so many patients, so many stories, death, sadness, waiting, hope, miracles, survival, these are a routine at the hospital. i think wow, this is life. right here.

i havent a clue what to bring to sch tmr. wanted to bring the laptop, but like no point also. i dont even know which of the peeps are gg to sch tmr! detached i am. but nvm la. im slowly enjoying solitude. plus i have kafka on the shore to conquer.

gonna sleep in a bit. i feel slightly nervous. i dont know what to wear. not like i usually plan a day in advance anws. but its the first day of school! gosh.

mom, being the mom that rockssssss has washed all my clothes. so i have a huge stack of school clothes to choose from.

uniforms, i miss them a little. hah aokay not that much actually.

okay to everyone else who also has a first day of school, have a great first day at sch. :]

nightsss.

break!

2009-01-02T15:11:00.002+08:00

okay okay lighter post this blog is in need of some lighter posts!

firstly. this is stuck in my head.
*attempts to embedd*

aiyah cannot. okay its metro station! okay at first i thought they were weird but now i like em. both leads are kinda cute. and the music is goood.

secondly. omg my timetable is really weird. im confused. first they say my elective is still on the waitlist, but then it says i alr have 23 aus registered. HUH. WHAT DOES THAT MEAN. do i get the elective or not!

entah la. i tell you stars makes you starry eyed and gonggong.

thirdly. yesterday was abit much for me, but after letting it out and relaxing i feel LOADS better. :] insyaAllah all will be welll.

fourthly. (as you can see im all about organising facts). school starts in so few days. no further elaboration needed for that.

fifthly. wait theres no such thing as the word fifthly right.

k i think tts enough random facts attached to my brain. i need to change my pencil case because its seriously not working out for me and my identity, haha.

other than that i dont really feel to backtoschoool ish. but then again i dont feel very new years ish either. maybe i am seriously growing up.

but my perception abilities are as bad as ever. yesterday at the hospital a close friend of my aunt's came to visit with her son. now because my bad perceptive abilities perceived that the son was like primary six or max sec two, i didnt really acknowledge the kid. well i did acknowledge the kid, but yeah i guess in a manner that i would usually do when acknowledging a kid.
drumroll please. the guy is frigging twenty one and in the army. he's got that youngcuteboy thing going on. uh oh. the whole time i just thought he was a very tall kid. man im such a knoob. hahahahha. lesson to learn? hone up my bad perceptive skills. treat kids equally as i do adults. dont be such a knoob.

okay gonna get ready and go out to meet my mom in a bit. seeyouallllaterrs.

reality checks.

2009-01-02T01:57:00.002+08:00

happy new year!

its the first year that i started out so differently. so regularly. without all the usual mad hoohaa. but its all good.

im a little tired today, so i have decided to destress by using the comp and listening to feel good music. :]

omg i just checked my timetable out.. what in the world was i doing when i planned out the timetable i have no idea. i have like seven hour and five hour straight periods on wednesday and monday. ahhhhhhhhhhhhh. i am in major trouble. need to add/drop ASAP. NOW NOW NOW.

im now kinda hungry and theres a long story behind it which needs no explanation. so i shall scourge around for some food later.

i was thinking of whether i wanna have like a new year's resoultion. but i dont know. i cant really think of one. be a better person i guess. :]

k sleepy. and its real latee.

nights.

one more.

2008-12-31T00:57:00.002+08:00

hello.

back from kuantan. it was beautiful, and relaxing. and the family company was priceless. nice.

now im back. and i feel words arent of much use.

its been a long two days. yesterday i felt my heart was overflowing. or overloading. my brain too.

today im calmer.

like mariyah says, its painful knowing we cant ever go back. doesnt mean we cant still fight.

sis also said she really feels like her heart is aching. like her heart actually is hurting.

i dont know what i feel.

my dad told me whats important is to pray not to accept, but that God allows me to accept.

all i know is that we love you, every inch of us. and i know how much you love us too. so im taking it a day at a time. whatever tmr brings, i pray God keeps me strong. keeps mom strong. keeps our family strong.

its two am and its the last day before the new year.

thank You God for all you have given us this year.

its been a long year. many memories. so many things eh. teaching. results. uni. family. wow. im thankful im here, nearing the end and almost on a different start. with love around me, health, happiness. i dont want anything else.

one day at a time. im taking it one day at a time.

to the gang if youre reading this, man i love you guys. hope the breakfast meeting is gooooood. im thinking tampines macs here for some strange reason. hahahaha.

i pray everyone is alright, and good. lovesss. :]

dear diary.

2008-12-23T20:48:00.002+08:00

im feeling down today.

i just want to get away.

this whole year, and all the things that have happened.

i want to force them out of my head. but i dont want to forget also.

so much. SO MUCH. ahhhhh.

theres this disney movie, ice princess, playing on channel 5 later at ten. yeah its for like 8 year old kiddos, but its nice.

i think i wanna go watch the bboys perform next year.

i dont even wanna think about matters that tire me outttt.

what?

2008-12-22T00:35:00.002+08:00

condolences to rachna, and to sanstav's family. please God let us find him. its just so shocking abrupt and sudden. and its like...whoa. what???

wow. he's a year younger than me i think.

everything happens for a reason.

just keep the faith. :]

the heart never lies.

2008-12-21T02:31:00.002+08:00

hello.

firstly im stuck on this song. very nice. stiff dylans are a good band.

today was walk around singapore with family day. started off at somewhere near my dad's workplace where there is this great humongous (is that how you spell it?) converse warehouse sale. which was a bliss just to look at, but a pity i couldnt get any shoes. the smaller sizes of the ones i wanted had all been snapped up. but itsokay la found other cheap stuff! then it was off to queenstown to look for kak's workcumexercise shoes, which ended up as cute nike shiny black shoes that look like work shoes yet are meant for exercising. talk about style! so now kak can walk back from mrt to home in comfort! yayy.

then it was off to kino for a bit of book shopping. didnt get much. just a thousand splendid suns by khaled hosseini and kafka's _____(cant rememebr the title) by a jap author. my cuz said it was a good book so just decided to get it. wanted to get angus, thongs... the book but it was in like font size 14 for like tweens so after watching it again on youtube i decide (with approving nods from mom and sis) that i dont need to get the book. sheesh imagine reading it on the train. haha.

kino is so huge. i spent half the time being overwhelmed by the sheer size and quantity of the place and books. its like huh. so bigggg.

picked out some clothes for the pahang trip. gna start packing proper tmr.

ive been a little errant in my spending. need to be a little more careful. need to also get a kid to tuition. anyone needs tuition? living in the east? BEEP ME. haha.

i wanted to blog about smth else but like right now i cant seem to think of much else so i shall stop here. :] dilly's off to kl right? or off alr? hahah have a good trip there and hope you meet anuar zain. *giggles* hehehehehehhehehehehe. and hak's back right? hope everyone's good.

:]

nose pain.

2008-12-19T00:38:00.002+08:00

kak: what happened to your face?
ma: please buy cream for your face tmr and take care of it!
mariyah: your face will have lines early if you dont take care of it you know
pa: why you never wear a cap? but nvm la last time jc also you always black what.

wow.

hahahahahaha. okaymy nose bridge does hurt. is there a space between nose and bridge? who knows. anws, my face is positively err blackened. by two straight days in the sun. supplying water to those in need.

it was kinda bad, i shouldve brought a cap but i kept forgetting. so now im blackened and my nose hurts cos it was under the most exposure. haha. but the good news is, we won again! against adm! yeah weird right that im even celebrating this, but i think we've got a great soccer team in cs! :] :] :] i thought they played well and totally deserved to win, though they seemed a little tired today. maybe cos theyve played straight for two days and they still have two more days to go! but hurray i dont think we've ever gotten this far! so good luck for the remaining matches! hope we make it all the way to the enddd!

that however, is the end of my watergirl activities. tmr at grandmma's, and i think sat too. maybe kinokuniya with the family to use up vouchers before they expire.

malaysia next week? so fast. time is passing by so fast. but i think ive had a good needed break from school.

okay cant sleep too late. stomach aint doing too well. ahhh. ngantuk! :]

bally good times.

2008-12-17T22:57:00.002+08:00

heylo. first things first, yayy singapore drew nil-nil with vietnam. tt's good news. other than the fact that i wish they'd MAKE an attempt at porper attacks.but the tensions were pretty high so i think a clash might break out at the home game here on sunday. yayy. me and dad might go, but cos the national stadium is like not really being kept in good conditions (ironic cos they wanna break it down yet still host many matches on it. why break down the national stadiun anws? so iconic what) so my dad does feel a trifle uncomfortable on the shaky and pretty wobbly wooden planks. hmm. watch at home also can la. :]

yay go lions go.

in other football news, albeit on a smaller scale. voluntereed services as a water-girl and bag-watcher for today as our our sch's soccer boys took on nie. truth be told, i was rooting for them. BUT i was still scared they were gonna get trashed. but they won 3-1! hurrahhh! i only saw the 1st and 2nd goal, cos when i was taking care of the bags i was pretty far away.

a good match nonetheless. yayy! hope they win tmr too.

i think football matches are like so heart wrenching. cos someone has to win and someonen has to lose. i mean like ultimately la, it can never end in a draw. haha. yeah ever the stickler for NO competition.

the match however, left me exposed to the fiery sun (and i was in black) so when i came home i had a pounding headache that was cured with some sleep and roti john and more water.

parents are watching she's got the look now. i had no clue whatsoever that the models there were like mid 30s all the way to their 50s. they seriously dont look it. they look fab and fit! i wanna be like that when i grow old, God willing. :]

listen to simple plan's save you. nice.

okay off to read shah rukh khan;s biography and sleep a lil early cos tmr im off to sch again. yayy me xx auds and trix. so long nv seeeeee! :]

see you see you!

words words words from the telephone.

2008-12-16T20:56:00.002+08:00

weird change of mood from the morning eh?
went to the lib and did a bit of reading on films, cinema and the likes. nice. borrowed smth on shah rukh khan. hehh.

this is getting tougher and tougher. and just listening and i already feel its a lot, its so much to handle. what more for the person who is going through it. like that malay proverb. berat mata memandang berat lagi bahu memikul.

i dont know whats wrong with me. i missed registration for unrestricted electives, and i know theres add/drop period still, but. why did i miss it? why dont i care?

reading books, watching dramas, maybe tts why im so hooked. but i am seriously sick of staring at the computer screen. haha. okies im off to read non fiction material for a change.

wish we could all show you how beautiful you still are, have always been to us. seeing how difficult it must be for you. be strong! God help us.

good morning sunshine!

2008-12-16T10:51:00.002+08:00

ohmygosh. firstly, i was up at 8 hellofrigging 30 in the morning. why? you may ask. considering my sleeping habits, i have not been up this early since, well, since exams a month ago. but here i am, trudging my butt off the bed, cos my dad tells me at 3 am the previous night that the bank man is coming to takebpictures of our house to approve some loan. whoa, and knowing my mom everything must be at least a little neater right. haish. so i do dishes, do a bit of magic cleaning, tidy up here and there waiting for some (i imagine) forty year old uncle who's older and uncle-ish and in a white shirt and formal pants like the salespeople kind. yawns right. i mean not to the uncle, i mean the whole waking up early in the morning thing.

but noooo,, as fate would have it, there is a knock on the door and i open it and there is a dashing chinese twenty something smartly dressed channel 8 drama type mr bankman.

and what am i wearing? jeans and a 12 year old shirt. i see him looking at the shirt (it has a picture of a deer). i think i freaked him out big time.

okay so nvm, mynext plan is to avoid him at all costs. but ohmy he is dashing.

i think i want to meet a banker. hahahahaha.

but noooooo, i see him in the kitchen and move to my sis room to check out the mirror and make sure i dont look like a complete fool. i hear someone coming in, so i say "PA! i think i ...."

but nooooooooo. its mr handsomechinesedashingbankman, and we both get a shock. now i see FREAKO stamped on my forehead clearly. my dad mumbles off something in the background. wrong person!

seela. SEE LA. i tell you. I TELL YOU. i dont even know what to tell you.

hahahahahahaha. now though i just feel like laughing. i am such a dodobird and a half i tell you.

but that was kinda funny. yawns. but now i am so sleepy man. i think im gonna go have like another nap! bye mr handsome chinese bank man!

in other news, been wanting to blog for awhile about this,

angus, thongs and full-frontal snogging.
hilarious, sweet, funny, gross, typicalbrit humour, all rolled in one. idk but i think that all girls should watch it, no matter how old you are. though i did feel old whilst watching the movie cos in it the girls are like 14 and 15. like whoa. but i see the similarities. the really bad giggle fit that i used to have when i was like in tk. good laughingdays. man those days you can get away with anyth. but now i think when i look at the gang FOR EXAMPLE ON SUNDAY, our giggling vibes have not gone away. YAYY. :]

but yes, the movie is feel good and nice and leaves you with happy bubbles in your tummy for at least the next couple of hours.

i think in sg, and america they changed the title words frull frontal to perfect cos its got sexual innuendos and cant be like a pg rating. yeps. watch watch watch! :]

idk why but lately im a bit irritable! okay i think honestly its too much internet and computer. okay off i gooo! enough mysoju.com and the likes.